Christmas Like a Spartan

Every December people pack into malls and shopping centers like herd animals lining up for slaughter. Here, take my money!  No, take my money first! Here slice some more fat off my back to make your breakfast! What does a Spartan do every December? Baby, it ain’t shopping. On Christmas day a Spartan pulls out… [Read More…]

Obsession is the Only Thing That Counts

They’ll say things like: Don’t spend too much time on that. You need to take a break. You’re working too hard. Moderation is the key. It’s like you’re obsessed. You’d hear it if you cared. You’d hear it if your ears weren’t deaf to bullshit. They’ll say things like: I’ve never heard of anything like… [Read More…]

Being Thankful For All That is Good

4820180

Setting up a game plan for the new year is essential. It shouldn’t be left until January 1st to complete. You plant your crops in advance and then you harvest. Preparation and, especially, visualization are key to achieving your goals of the year. You’ve got to get your goals clearly defined and written down. You’ve… [Read More…]

Always Be Ready to Do or Die

From the darkness you hear “that’s a nice watch, friend-o“. The next thing you know it’s a fight to the finish. Your whole life was preparation for this moment, even though you didn’t know it. Someone has come from the darkness and they have come for your life. They want to take you out, they… [Read More…]

The Only Piece of Advice You Will Ever Need to Pick Up and Attract Women and Keep Them Vying For Your Love, Attention and Affection

Warning: This post is rude, crude and lewd. Reader discretion is advised.  Friends, if you’re having trouble with women I have the answer for you. If you’re reading online about how to pick up and keep women I have the answer for you. If you’ve been getting the run around from Sally-Jane down the street… [Read More…]

How to Eat Whatever You Want and Get Away With It

Friends, I have a confession to make: I eat whatever I want. So much for discipline huh? Of course, it just so happens that want I want to eat 90% of the time is staple foods like Steak and Eggs. It also just so happens that I eat, at most, 8 hours out of the… [Read More…]

How to Cure Depression the Old Fashioned Way

Depression, or as my Grandfather would say “being a pussy”, is largely self-imposed and easily remedied. Depression is caused by leading a lazy, slothful, gluttonous, pointless, unnatural existence. Boredom is probably the leading cause of depression but a Doctor can’t prescribe pills for having a white water rafting adventure. “But my depression is caused by… [Read More…]