Merry Christmas from Bold and Determined

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Ho ho ho!

Merry Christmas, gentlemen.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, this year you can have it again.

Christmas is a time to spend with loved ones. Yes, we all know that.

But I get a lot of emails from young men who believe they have “social problems” and don’t have anyone in their lives.

It’s true that yes, maybe they have no one, but it’s not true that they have social problems.

What they have is a lack of balls.

This year, to save you from tears, I’m going to give you the secret to being social.

The secret is making an effort. The secret is trying.

The secret is making yourself talk to people even when you feel uncomfortable.

The reality is that you think you have “social problems” but most people feel the same way. If everyone feels the same way, it’s not really unique to you.

So make someone’s day and tell them “Merry Christmas” and smile and do it again.

Tomorrow, instead of saying “Merry Christmas”, start saying “hi”.

It’s amazing what happens when you make an effort instead of making excuses.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Thank you for visiting Bold and Determined. I’m happy to have you.

See you next year.

Your man,

-Victor Pride,
The Shirtless Shogun of Christmas

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  1. says

    Secret is to start giving, and then you get plenty of everything, not just friends. By giving away, you actually get. I am happy to read your blog, you give so much. Merry Christmas!

  2. Thomas Enstrom says

    It’s still Christmas Eve here in Hawaii but Mele Kalikimaka. Looking forward to kicking ass and eating meatballs; I’m all out of meatballs.

  3. Leo says

    Just some random copy-paste. This were apparently Steve Jobs answers. It’s remarkable similarity with many of Vics responses:

    10) To Apple executives about preventing a rival service from being compatible with the iPod

    “We need to make sure that when Music Match launches their download music store they cannot use iPod. Is this going to be an issue?”

    9) To an eager college journalist who was dumbfounded that Apple’s media relations team hadn’t replied to her

    “Please leave us alone.”

    8) To NewsCorp (NWS) executive James Murdoch, who oversees HarperCollins — an Amazon (AMZN, Tech30) rival that was trying to raise the prices of ebooks

    “Throw in with Apple and see if we can all make a go of this to create a real mainstream e-books market at $12.99 and $14.99.”

    Related: See Apple’s new Steve Jobs in action

    7) To Apple’s HR chief after learning that Google (GOOG) had fired a recruiter who was poaching Apple employees — something the companies had conspired not to do

    ” :-) ”

    6) To Palm CEO Ed Colligan after the company refused to reverse its decision to poach an Apple employee

    “I’m sure you realize the asymmetry in the financial resources of our respective companies. My advice is to take a look at our patent portfolio before you make a final decision here.”

    5) To an advertiser who told Jobs he was being a “jerk” about mobile ads

    “You are a super salesperson, by the way.”

    4) A bullet in an email outlining Apple’s 2011 strategy

    “2011: Holy War with Google”

    Related: Steve Jobs’ last gift

    3) To a Mac owner whose computer got wet and was having no luck with Apple Care replacing his laptop

    “This is what happens when your MacBook Pro sustains water damage. They are pro machines and they don’t like water. It sounds like you’re just looking for someone to get mad at other than yourself.”

    2) To the makers of the app iPodRip, which Apple threatened with a lawsuit

    “Change your apps name. Not that big of a deal.”

    1) Response to an iPhone 4 owner who was a victim of “Antennagate”

    “Just avoid holding it that way.”

  4. says

    “The secret is making yourself talk to people even when you feel uncomfortable.”~Victor Pride

    Those words are the most important free gift you’ll receive in 2014.
    They cost you nothing,
    but they’ve cost Victor Pride plenty.

    Make reaching out to those you think would not respond to you a daily habit.
    It makes everything possible. It might save your life, too.

  5. Rob says

    Very true. It’s taken me a long time to come to this realization. I’m 24 and since I got dumped 3 years ago I’ve been wallowing in self pity over my lack of a social life. Yet I’ve never taken the action required and put myself out there. I’ve never joined a class or team sport or anything like that. It’s like I am just expecting to magically make friends without taking the uncomfortable yet necessary action. 2015 is the year I just fucking do it.

  6. says

    As long as you don’t break into my house in the middle of the night.

    Great picture! Very creative.

    Yesterday we celebrated my wife’s birthday, today we’re celebrating Christmas! Just a very good week. Lots of family time, and that’s very important.

    No real on point comment here, just glad to have a site like this with great content and great commentors.

    Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a great new year!

  7. says

    Merry Christmas to you Vic and to all the other Spartans on here. This is my first Christmas away from home so it’ll be interesting. I’ll make it the best yet! I’ll see y’all next year!

    Your friend,
    Dylan Madden

  8. TS says

    This is the most muscular Santa I ever seen.

    All other santas fit the stereotypical old, and fat santas. You would be a perfect inspiration to other fat santas who should exercise.

  9. TS says

    For people who have been introverts and are naturally shy, it all starts with small step of just saying “hi”, “hello”, or “good morning/afternoon” to strangers. Even if they don’t respond, at least you said something.

    Once you can get comfortable talking with just about anyone, move on to talking to group of strangers (more than one). And from there, it’s practice.

    Sometimes we humans have to get out of our comfort zone and feel the “uncomfortable” situations too. We will never be able to reach growth when we are in state of comfort. The state of comfort may feel good but you will never reach your true potential.

    To step beyond the horizon, one has to take risk. Know when to take risk.

    Fear of trying or fear of regret. At least if you tried, you know you succeed or failed. But if you don’t try at all, time will pass by and one day you will regret it not knowing the outcome.

    Regretting is the biggest letdown. Don’t do something you will later regret. You never know until you try.

    All the great inventions that men made and all other greatness you see around you happened because someone took the risk and went beyond “comfort”. Majority of people are in state of comfort and will not go out of their own way or step outside their comfort zone. You don’t have to become the majority. Be the one who stands out. Discover. Grow. Learn.

    Think outside the box.

    • John B. says

      Going to add onto this/

      Remember to check your volume. You won’t get nowhere if your words aren’t loud enough for people to hear it. I have to be mindful of this whenever I talk. If it’s not the volume, I run the risk of talking too fast and everything getting mumbled together. Don’t bother practicing this stuff at home. You could spend weeks practicing this stuff in a mirror and then lock up in front of a real person.

      Grocery stores are perfect for this sort of thing. Lots of variety. They get crowded, so it’s easy to find a group of people to say “Hello” to in the first place. Quite a few people like to hold quick and casual conversation, whether it’s about the weather, complaining about the prices or some story about their kids. I recall going to one once and a woman recognized me from walking along the road all of the time, so she would start conversations with me when I walked by.

      It doesn’t matter who you are. I was a fat slob with greasy hair, poorly dressed and I often caught these people after sweating around outside, and they still talked to me, but they WILL talk to you. The better you get at this, you’ll find people will want to say hi to you instead. It changes you, and people notice.

  10. says

    Merry Christmas Victor! Hope you have a great one and thank you for everything you have provided to us with B&D! Look forward to the years to come from you!

    Cheers!

    -Jacob

  11. yeahrightgetlost says

    “What they have is a lack of balls.”

    It sounds abstract but it’s 100% true. If a man raises his testosterone, he’ll become more certain, positive, self-assured, determined.
    Guys who played sports at university make good salesmen.

  12. Connor says

    Merry Christmas Vic, and thanks for this article.
    I can only speak for myself, but I think a lot of these guys aren’t necessarily “afraid” of being social (although I’m sure there are some who are), but instead just aren’t sure how to balance enjoying themselves and having their own alone time because they aren’t used to enjoying themselves in the first place.
    Personally, I feel that it’s just a fear of what “enjoying oneself” pertains. For guys who have no problem being a natural asshole but aren’t used to going out/don’t talk to many girls, their frustration comes from knowing they’re getting the “short-end-of-the-stick” in life. I can’t speak for everyone, but that’s just my perspective.
    I spend my free time studying comics/comedians (thanks to IllimitableMen) and occasional people watching. I’m always studying the greats and their wit/social abilities, then I try to emulate them.
    Joe Rogan, Duncan Trussel, Patrice O’Neal, they’re all good to study.
    Joe Rogan is especially entertaining because he’s smart as fuck. Check out his podcasts, guys.
    Thanks for the article Vic and best of luck in 2015!

    • Victor Pride says

      That was a very well made, very powerful piece. Now I feel like going to Ibiza.

      No snow, if I took a plane an hour north I might run into some snow.

      • Cooper says

        Ibiza is a crazy place.
        I went there over the summer this year with a few mates and it was definitely the wildest thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.
        I know you used to party at night in your 20s, but Ibiza is a completely different beast. Don’t take your girl and be ready to get high on ketamine/narcotics, because the party never stops and you will get fucked up.
        If you’re looking for something “peaceful” and nice, Ibiza is not the place to go. Downtown is shit and full of middle aged people who wish they were young, and the rest is party animals.
        Literally, animals. They put Aussie/American parties to shame.
        Merry Christmas, Bare Knuckle Sheriff of Christmas.

        • Victor Pride says

          “Literally, animals. They put Aussie/American parties to shame.”

          I take it back, I don’t want to go. I’ve seen these animals all around the islands of Thailand.

          And Merry Christmas to you, Cooper.

      • Michael says

        I don’t agree. You get fired from your job, your girlfriend leaves you, and your “solution” is to fly to Ibiza and party? Good luck with that!

  13. EA says

    Short but powerful post.
    I have been trying to get more social even if it makes me feel uncomfortable. The result? More open doors even with the powerful local people ( County commissioner knows me by name and we are friends on Facebook, I see mayor and councilmen on regular basis, I talk to entrepreneurs etc). They open many doors if needed. Plus more fun with one of my hobbies (board gaming… And no video gaming; be social in real life, not on a computer).
    Merry Christmas to Vic and all of his readers.

  14. azor says

    I just finished jerking off to my ex-girlfriend’s pictures (it has been a year since the break up and no sex life since then). I am alone for christmas and nobody even sent me a message or called me. I do nothing all day long. I think I am a whiny loser and that I’m hopeless.

  15. prolin says

    I’ve been working hard and saving up money in various mutual funds, ETFs, and I’ve saved up close to half a million which is a lot for me, but I’m turning thirty and there is no one is my life and I always feel sorry for myself.

    • Victor Pride says

      Here’s a thought: You have the money, you don’t need to concentrate on making more right now, why don’t you go find somebody? Do you wish to be alone again next year?

    • says

      Welcome to the Top1%.

      Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, dress up like you are rich (you are, relatively speaking) and make an online dating profile and go out with some girls and pick the ones you like to call back.

  16. says

    Agree with the advice, used to think I had social problems as well. Eventually forced myself to start a set number of conversations a week until the problems were fixed. Lo and behold, the problems were gone.

    Merry Christmas Vic

  17. LIOZON LAURENT says

    Hello Victor thanks for yur message and merry Christmas to you and those you love. keep in that way of success

  18. says

    I don’t know where to begin to express my gratitude for the SERVICE you render unto a lot of us out here in the trenches. Your page is more than just a mere motivational blog for me. It is an essential tool that I have applied to every aspect of my life. I’m grateful that it has most likely steered a lot of men away from that fight club type nihilism that is awaiting a lot of folks once they get that first notion of breaking away. I used your 70s bodybuilding post to get into great shape last summer. I’ve used body of a Spartan as a training template for my clients. I’ve learned to use Kratom and provigil to kick ass for 15 hour days to make my gym successful. 30 days of discipline was a game changer as well . I’ve always come back to your posts about obsession to power through those moments of doubt and ward off the “advice” of the stray average Joe who sneaks past the fence. I’ve also learned to demand a certain standard from the women who I spend my time with. The picture of your house you posted is my Screensaver now so when I start my day I see evidence of what happens when someone just goes for the fucking throat. I used to be a prison panda too and although I started my journey before I heard of bold and determined I can defiantly say that being able to start my day with your blog helped me really take my mind into a new level of performance. I’m getting packed for 10 days vispassana but not to become a hippy dippy white buddist but to learn another method of focusing my mind. You are totally correct, success if the meaning of life. Thanks for EVERYTHING and if you’re ever in Dallas my gym door is always open to you! Merry Xmas to you and miss wolf!

  19. Mr. Lucky Ruffiano says

    Victor! Merry Christmas, and thank you for all the valuable wisdom that you share in this mighty blog of yours. I’m much more of a man because of it.

  20. Adam says

    If I could describe this year in one word, it’s transcendental. Early this year, I started a business..something I never thought I’d see myself do. It has even helped me improve myself in some ways. I procrastinate less, focus on tasks more, know how to be consistent and close those damn deals quickly.

    Yet, the self-improvement continues. It’s stuff like yours that will inspire me to BE better.

    2015 is going to kick so much ass. No apologies. No excuses. No fucking around.

    Thank you, Victor. Merry Christmas.

  21. Matias Page says

    Merry Christmas, Vic.

    2014 was the best year of my life bar none. 2015 will be better by far. Your writing was lighthouse during the many dark days when I felt like going back to complaining and being a victim.

    Thank you.

  22. Kyle says

    I’m one of the shy guys you reference in the article.

    Honestly how would you know how hard it is to socialize when you’ve never had severe social problems. You said you cut your long hair and magically you became good with girls.

    That’s not reality.

    Im sitting in my room I rent all day on xmas, no friends, no girls, no family. Do I have a choice? No.

    I’m TOO uncomfortable to speak to people to try and make friends. I tried to say something simple to a female cashier and stuttered all over myself and was depressed the whole day.

    “grow a pair and talk to people” doesn’t help at all. Any other suggestions?

      • Kyle says

        I have tried, every time I’ve always completely messed up what I was saying, this goes beyond being ” a little nervous”. Having friends and girls are completely out of my realm of reality.

        • quiet lee says

          Think of Mr. Pride’s advice as the pure distilled bottom line. In the end trying and trying again is what it comes down to. However, it can be helpful to break a problem into pieces and attack it from different directions. Try reading up on techniques, such as the classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Or try joining a group like Toastmasters. My experience as a crippling shy person has been that I do much better if I have a separate purpose when I talk to others so that I focus on the purpose and not the person. Time helps, be patient and keep chipping away.

          • says

            I totally agree with you Lee. One should always look at the different angles of a problem and tailor solutions according to them and to do so effectively. A high amount of know how must be their which is only possible with self learning.

        • Leo says

          It’s like building muscles. It won’t come overnight. Try to say just “hi” or just smile or do something which have 0 expected outcome. Then next time you can ask clerk in a store if he/she knows where this and that product is. Then ask people outside if they know how to get to some location and progress from that point on. Get small results at first, which will boost your confidence.

          Note that, that you will get looks sometimes (many times), you will get rejected by girls, you will be judged, you will fall down. Okay, now, that this is out of the way, you think about if this will have any negative effect on you decade from now, no. Nobody will remember, not even you. I know one really smart person, who has similar problems, you can sense how he is totally uncomfortable around people and want to get out of situation immediately. It sucks, kind of feel bad for him.

          The thing is, nobody really cares if you have this situation, or if you feel uncomfortable, or that you have this anxiety.

          So next time when you try to approach a girl and lets say you get rejected (most cases), know that it maybe wasn’t you, maybe she had bad day, or some issue that day, or is depressed that day, or feels the same as you and rejected you out of fear, or you simply were not her style. So what, nobody cares, neither should you.

          People have their own problems and issues.

        • Attila says

          I’d like to add that your time is limited here, brother.
          I had a friend who suffered from cancer, and died by the age of 16.
          Who says it can’t happen to you?
          You can’t take life for granted, because you might not live tomorrow.
          It’s only a choice whether you do what you want or not. The risk of dying is always there.

          The question is:
          Do you want to die a loser, wondering about ‘What if…’.Or:
          Will you follow your heart(or gut), and put yourself out there?

          Even if you fail, you’ll know that you did what you could, and you won’t blame yourself for being such a pussy.
          You’ll soon see that other people aren’t worthy of your affection, at least that’s what I realized.
          They’re nothing special, their life is not above you, and your future isn’t decided by them.
          You make your future.
          Merry Christmas.

        • Jean says

          A few years ago when I tried my first work-out, I was so weak both physically and mentally that I couldn’t even stretch properly.

          I said “I can’t even stretch, what do I do, give up?”

          A guy in my gym replied with “give up? Yeah, that would be the easy thing to do. Of course you can not do it correctly, it’s your first try. Keep trying.”

          Really, you are in a very bad boat for your overall life dude.

          Something that working-out teaches is an attitude. It teaches you that even when you fail, you stand back up and try again. You try and fail one thausand time, you feel weak, depressed, like it will never improve but you keep pushing until you succeed.

          Your problem is not social anxiety. Your problem is your attitude. You try once, fail and then complain about how it’s not working out. You must change your attitude. This is NOT done by doing efforts socially. Pick up a hobby and invest yourself 100% in it. Since you are alone, you have plenty of time right? Quit jerking off to porn and invest yourself in a hobby/project. You will encounter obstacles that are similar to the ones you encounter socially. By pushing through them and moving past them, you will learn a new attitude, a new method for dealing with those difficulties.

          You can do it by picking up the guitar, by learning how to draw, by studying for your grades or by working out.

          I’ve been where you are and here is the bad news : it took me 2 whole years of non-stop effort to go from there to socially normal. The good news is : you can do it.

          Just pick up a goal and work towards achieving it. Think about changing your attitude in regard of your problems (including your social anxiety) rather than about the problem itself. Focus on yourself rather than on other people. Give yourself a break, say to yourself “okay it sucks but I’m taking X months to take care of ME. Screw other people.”.

          • TheGreyWolf says

            attitude:
            noun
            1. manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind:

            I found that I was so far gone, so down, that I couldn’t even change my attitude.

            I couldn’t change my disposition, feeling, or position on many things.

            I finally realized that in five years I would be five years older.
            My actions would dictate if I would be five years better, or five years worse.

            I started from a place next to zero, and my only goal was to do more today than yesterday.

            My goals are getting bigger, but changing an attitude may be impossible for some at the start.

            For people like me, the attitude changes after a combination of actions.

    • Leo says

      One more thing.

      This fear which is rational for you, but irrational to others is maybe issue for you, but think about people around the world, how many billions of people have bigger problems.

      Today – millions of people will wake up and starve to death, be tortured, get killed, failed businesses, lose their loved ones, get fatal disease, bankrupt, lose their jobs, get divorced, commit suicide, get broken hearted, cheated on, lose their limbs,…and die.

      Now, if you are intelligent and rational, compare any of the problems above with “problem” you have.

      I bet you millions of people would trade with your problem in a nanosecond.

    • John B. says

      You were not born with that problem. You developed it. If it can be acquired, you can get rid of it. YOU have to put in the work.

      Do you know where that fear comes from? It’s from a time, long ago, where if you got exiled from your tribe, you were dead. Social circles are tribes, and being kicked out by one person makes you feel awful. Fortunately, you can just walk right into a new tribe. Move away. Get a new job. Make your own business that isn’t location dependent. Start your own tribe and now you’ll never have to worry about getting kicked out.

      You see, what you’ve done with social anxiety, what everyone with social anxiety does is turn it into a giant monster. This monster will not harm you. But you know what? It’s still a monster. It looks intimidating. It looks like he could bite your head off. But just like the monster under your bed, he doesn’t exist. You fear something that isn’t there, because you believe it to be there. Because of this, that monster will let you do whatever you want to it.

      Every time you say “Hello” to someone, you’re pulling out a tooth. Every smile you give out that’s given back is an eye you just plucked. Every conversation is a finger removed. You get my point? You have to work this out over time. You aren’t going to just slay him overnight. Do what everyone else does. Attack the digits. Pull off it’s claws. Humans have what? 50 teeth? 2 eyes? 20 nails? 10 fingers and 10 toes? Well, you’re looking at nearly 100 attempts before you get the chance to even cut off it’s arms, legs and head and pierce it’s heart.

      As for the hair, if you took that literally, don’t. It’s far more than just cutting your hair. It’s taking care of yourself. Taking showers. Shaving. Work out. Eat well. Exercise. The first person you have to present yourself to, is yourself. Then you present yourself to the world. You don’t have to cut your hair. Hell, you don’t even have to shave. But spending time on yourself, to make you feel better about how you look, changes how you feel about yourself. Look at my last comment.

      “It doesn’t matter who you are. I was a fat slob with greasy hair, poorly dressed and I often caught these people after sweating around outside, and they still talked to me, but they WILL talk to you. The better you get at this, you’ll find people will want to say hi to you instead. It changes you, and people notice.”

      All of that stuff that people think will make people not want to talk to them is largely bull. I had long, greasy hair that was covered in sweat and messed up by the wind. I still managed to talk to people, and some people even talked to me. If a fat, balding, long haired, sweaty fat=man can talk to people, why can’t you? And don’t use that social anxiety excuse either, because I had it too. I still do, I just choose not to let that be an excuse.

      Growing a pair is part of a two choice system.
      1. Grow a pair and take control of your life.
      2. Don’t grow a pair, and get stepped on by everyone else.

      You do have a choice. You picked it a long time ago when you decided to let social anxiety define your life. You have the internet in front of you. Victor has provided us time and again with the information we need to make better choices. He’s told his story on how he built his own business. How to cope with loneliness. He’s told us how he makes money. He told you how to overcome social anxiety. Do you know what all of that has in common? Many of us chose to change. Some people take longer than others.

      I’ve been reading this site for almost two years now. I just recently decided to actually do something with the information Victor has posted. I could have chose to do it earlier, but I did not. Sure, I could come up with dozens of excuses on why I didn’t, but the answer is the same. They were excuses, and my choice was still, “I won’t do it.” I chose not too. Reread that. I made the choice, not to do anything. That is what you are doing.

      You are not special. You are not a snowflake. Many people on here had the same situation as you did, and made the choice to change it.

      It’s time to change your mind.

      • says

        This is a great comment. It comes down to personal choice and a determination of will. No one can make any difference in his life, no matter what he hears or knows, until he’s willing to say screw it and simply do it.

    • S.L says

      Kyle,
      Just FORCE yourself to be comfortable around people and don’t give a fuck. You won’t talk to girls soon but give it time. Start going to places that interest you the most (sports, volunteer work or whatever). Don’t spend time alone. Pretend that you are hungry for some bitches.
      Godspeed Kyle

    • justin says

      Dude…it’s simple really. Be humble, not vain & Pompus. Listen Always don’t Profess Unabashidly, Be Generous of person/attitude not self absorbed/indulgent in character. Lift/Create your self esteem but don’t look down on others. Thus you will create have & keep many “True” & “Valid” friendships or honies that will remain in your life till the end. Avoid the shallow fair weather say everything you want to hear type peeps most of all. Its that simple bro! Cheer up Buck Up & Now you’ll be Happy my lil bro!

  23. bear says

    I just wanted to write and say thanks to the information Ive read on B&D and D&P I’ve had the confidence to take more risk in business and built some really solid connections and even found a mentor in my industry in which I work,. I know 2015 will only be better. The best of success to BD this upcoming year . Thanks & Merry Christmas!

  24. Alexander says

    Reading through these comments, it would appear that there are a lot of lost young men.
    I can relate to them pretty well because I have had my previous struggles with being a social person and with dealing with women in the past, and it can be pretty hellish.
    The comments that make me laugh are the ones in which the men say that they “have given up”. Those men are useless and should not consider themselves men. However, for the men who are genuinely struggling, I think I see a solid platform for you to take advantage of in 2015 and it addresses this exact epidemic-like issue in men today.
    The thing about you Victor is that you are a very relatable and down to earth guy. Many of these men didn’t have grow up with the strong men in their lives like men and they have nowhere to go.
    One podcast quote you said I love the most is when you said “I was a loser for a long time” in one of your podcasts. I love that because you have experience from the “bad” side of life and because of that you were more motivated to take large, massive action towards getting away from that hell. I also love that from the vibe that you give off the vibe you give off says that you are not the guy who usually would be the extroverted funny dude who always had joke to crack. You seem like the guy who had a killer attitude and instinct like a fucking spartan lion and mixed in occasional humor but nothing over the top. You are very enviable despite what many people of society today believe. That concious effort to improve and the fact you’ve seen makes you the most valuable, respectable man among these men.
    I would be personally really curious to see what you could do with this topic since it is such prevelant in today’s society.
    For the men who don’t want to change, keep responding with the vague responses. For the men who do want to change, those are the men you should give quality advice for.
    Sorry for my english.
    I hope you had a very Merry Christmas and I hope you keep killing your way to success.

  25. Adam Gray says

    Great post. That’s all you need to know to meet people and indeed a new girl or multiple of women. As soon as you put yourself out there, everything will change. Many guys suffer from approach anxiety when it comes talking to girls. Theres a load of shit advice on the internet on how to get rid of approach anxiety.
    Let me give you a secret…. It never goes away fully. You just got to find your balls like good ol Victor said and show up as a man.
    I have met and still do meet many girls by just walking up and saying something along the lines as this. “Hey I saw you over here and I’m a little nervous but I had to come over and say hi”. You might think this is a little weak. But if you can do this, especially to the best looking woman and I’m talking about the ones that all men look at, your setting yourselves apart from 95% of all the other men.
    It might not sound ultra smooth but your being real and vulnerable. If you show up as a man with a little bit of nervousness and vulnerability woman will respect you far more than the rest of the guys that stare and hesitate to go over.
    So acknowledge that your nervous accept it and go talk to her anyway. You’ll be amazed how much you grow as a person and have a nice bonus of having more female company.
    Merry Christmas and happy new year to all.

    Keep up the good work Victor
    All the best Adam Gray
    UK

    P.s. This time of the year no one likes being alone especially woman so go talk to her.

  26. Gregor says

    Happy Holidays Victor, and thank you for another year of inspiration from Bold & Determined! I’ve been through a lot this past year, and I keep coming back to this website because it’s like food for my hungry soul. I keep fighting day-in day-out against the mainstream to get myself where most people can only dream of. Sometimes I lose myself in the trenches of life, but I always find myself coming back for a second helping…and third, and a fourth, etc.

  27. TheNewFace says

    I can resonate with a lot of the guys who post on this forum about being socially awkward and not having the guts to go after girls/women. I used to be like that but no more.

    One thing I should mention is that I used to be a compulsive masturbator. All my problems went away once I decided to quit masturbation & porn for life. This aint no placebo. Masturbation/porn is a real epidemic that destroys the young (and sometimes old) men of today. Cure this disease, and you will see a marked improvement in your lives, I swear.

  28. R Sreyas says

    Happy Holidays Victor!

    Thanks to you, I am busy crafting my online business and hope to achieve a particular income milestone by next Christmas.

    Here’s one idea for content that I (and many other B&D readers) would like to see: Could you do a post on judging people? There are tons of PUAs, scammers, etc. and I find it very difficult to trust anyone. My old friends (from my town back in high school) are total losers and I’m looking to build my own community of champions for mutual support. I’d prefer to have a group of 5 golden friends rather than 50 shitty ones.

    Looking forward to your response, as always!

  29. says

    When talking to new people or girls, keep one thing in mind – the consequences of your actions are MINIMAL to non-existent. If a girl turns you down, don’t give 2 shits. Move on to the next one. It WILL happen and no man takes down 100% of the women he approaches.

    To another great year – thanks for the powerful writing and inspiration Vic.

  30. Xavi says

    Merry Christmas Uncle Pride! Going to make a poster of that pic’ and hang it on my wall cuz’ that poster just oozes off positivity and strength!

  31. TheGreyWolf says

    Approach Anxiety.

    I grew up thinking it was a personal problem because I never heard anyone else talk about it.

    Since discovering B&D I have made sure that all 6 of my boys understand they have it, like everyone else, to one degree or another, and the only thing to do about it is to approach.

    The answer to bad breath is to brush your teeth.
    The answer to body odor is to take a shower.
    The answer to weakness is strength training.
    The answer to ignorance is education.
    The answer to poverty is work.

    The answer to approach anxiety is to …. APPROACH!

    Like most of life, the answer is really just that simple.

    Most of life’s answers are simple.
    Most of life’s answers are…work.
    The answers get complicated when we try to avoid the work.

    To this day, if I see a woman I’d like to interact with, if only for a moment, I’ll say “Hi” and ask her where something is in a store, down the mall, or around the corner. I already know where “it” is so I don’t care about the answer. I just want to hear her voice and have an excuse to focus on her for a few moments.

    When I was in my 20’s I’d cruise the women’s departments and ask for advice on buying a top for my sister or mom. (Cheesy ploy, but it works nearly every time if you underplay it.)

    The best opening line on earth, … “Hi”.
    Add a smile and you’re golden.

    To those of you who spent Christmas alone…
    I’ve been there and done that. I drank, had suicidal thoughts, wallowed in self-pity and self-loathing.
    Stop it.
    When your environment sucks, change your environment.
    Go out.
    Be around people.
    Go shopping.
    Go to the movies.
    Go to a museum.
    Go out to eat.
    Say, “Hi”
    The best answer, as always…work.
    Go join a gym. One with lots of dance classes and aerobic machines as well as weights.
    Why?
    Because having some eye candy (girls) can be nice while you develop the self discipline and routine it takes to better yourself physically. By extension you will also build yourself emotionally and mentally.

    I hope every one of you had a very Merry Christmas.
    I did.

    If you didn’t, it’s YOUR fault.

    What will YOU do in the next 364 days to fix it?

    Merry Christmas Victor Pride.

    Thank you so very much for everything you do!

    • BEN says

      Problem is modern day men succumb to instant gratification.

      The answer to hunger is to eat proper meal
      But people would eat shitty food for convenient purpose

      The answer to tiresome is to sleep
      But people would watch one more TV show and play more video games

      The answer to pain is to fix the problem
      But people would just take painkiller.

  32. Robin says

    Thanks for sharing this Vic! The thing is to breal free of old habits and patterns of thinking and
    the only way to do that is to ACT.You just reminded me again!
    Merry Christmas and Best Wishes!

    Robin

  33. says

    Holy crap. Here’s little old me, at the very bottom of the pile. You’ve amassed an admirable readership, Vic.

    Happy holidays. It’s all I can do to wish you the best in the New Year – enjoy and keep grinding.

    Regards,
    Claude

  34. says

    Hey guys, It’d mean a lot to me if you’d check out my site.Tell me what you think about it. I haven’t put in any money making stuff on there yet. I hope to in the future though. I’m not getting much traffic, I think My site will be great once I put more work into it. propershit.com

    • John B. says

      I’m going to keep this short.

      Find something else. You’re going to waste your time on that site, with that name, with that content.

        • Connor says

          John is right, your site is going nowhere. Look at your title, then look at your articles.

          “How to not have cancer or Get rid of it!!”.

          He’s not saying it in a rude way, nor am I, but rather, we are telling you before you waste more of your time on the site.
          If you want advice, start a new site with a better name and put out better content.

          • says

            I know thanks guys, I actually thought of a good name, I will have two sites, same content mostly maybe a few different money making schemes. I’ll think of some better titles, I think my content is great though.

        • John B. says

          Okay, so you want it this way. Alright.

          Let’s get some things out of the way then.

          1. First off, the name of the site is terrible. That name alone is enough to drive traffic away.

          2. The way you formatted your text is unreadable. No breaks in between paragraphs.

          3. From what I can tell, the source you site is listed on quackwatch as someone to avoid. So that’s not helping your image either.

          4. A lot of what you post looks copy-pasted in some parts.

          5. You have NO medical disclaimer on your site that I can see. Hope you like getting sued.

          6. Look at what you posted before.

          “I stopped masturbating, I had a relapse, but I’m going strong again! I seriously believe that I have trouble sleeping now. Got rid of my ps3/ Tv. Stacked some proper books on my desk! Cleaned my room to the max. No job, no school, Been 19 since September, Started MuyThai and boxing, lifting weights with great gains, jumping rope and beginning get into runnin. I used to be about 320 now i’m at 206. I’ve wasted a LOT of time in my life. I think And i’m planning to put some proper info on my website. Propershit.com, I cannot believe no one ever picked that domain out.”

          You have no real knowledge about health. Weight loss? Sure. But weight is only a very minute fraction of health, with diet, exercise, sleep and other lifestyle factors taking up everything else. You’re not a doctor. Never, EVER talk about health information, dietary protocol etc.. unless you have a firm placehold as a doctor or researcher. Your’e 19. You’re neither of these.

          7. Great, you changed the layout. But it still doesn’t tell anything about the site, or you. Look at what Victor has. Minimalist up top. The name of the website tells us what he’s about. The background of the lion gives an idea too. You have a leaf with some dew on it.

          The title for you has two things going with it. The first, is the word proper. It’s a good word. Then you have shit next to it. First off, profanity and business do not often go hand in hand. Why? It drives customers away. You can be “in your face” without using profanity.

          8. You suggest Alex Jones, who is, not exactly popular. Mentioning him alone is enough to drive groups of people into a frenzy about how crazy he is.

          9. Have you read through your articles? Or did you post them all up without proofreading and just hit “Publish?” Plenty of words being spelled improperly. You list things without a proper explanation of what it is. EDTA, GTT, GTF, WBC, etc… You spelled a the with an extra e and I’m pretty sure nobody spells herbs as herbes.

          Your articles literally make you sound like you don’t have any idea of what you’re talking about.

          10. Where’s your studies? The word isn’t even on those pages. So let’s get this straight, you’re going to suggest to people to listen to you, because someone listed as a quack and someone who’s relatively famous on the internet for being an idiot.

          Take a look at the following sites and notice their list of sources for their material. The first one has a source list and excerpt that’s almost as long as the article itself.

          http://raypeat.com/articles/articles/unsaturatedfats.shtml
          http://anthonycolpo.com/the-whole-grain-scam/

          And then we have the last one. I told you that the link with your name does not work, yet you kept it as the same link all three times you posted on here, and another time when you posted that I got the above quote of your’s from.

          It’s not just the name of the site, it’s a combination of all of the above. This material is not going to help you. You do not know enough and likely neither do your sources.

          You lost weight? Congratulations. But don’t go thinking that just because you lost over 100 lbs, some book you read from somewhere on the internet is going to be all of the proof you need to help someone get over any serious medical problem.

          You will be sued. You will lose. And almost exclusively because you have no medical disclaimer yet.

          Your site was dead before you started. Of course you think it has potential. You’re young an inexperienced. It’s dead weight. Drop it. Make a new site. Get a better name. Create content on stuff you personally know, from experience. Unless you, yourself, personally, have helped guide people through cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc…, beyond the point of fluke, you have zero place in the health business. None.

          • TS says

            yeah, John B has great advice here.

            Unfortunately on the internet, most people seem to overlook on the lawsuit part. Always put disclaimer even if you know you are expert. There are many sue-happy people that will not care to sue you in a heart beat if they have chance. Always watch your back Greg. And many people are already on the topic of weight loss and diet. You really have to make it stand out if you want to be heard because this topic is so redundant now and easily found content online. If you do decide to stick to this topic, try to make your content as eye-catching as possible and make sure your information is top quality. In fact, I would do this RIGHT NOW if I were you. Go put medical disclaimer right now. Protect yourself as much as possible. It also doesn’t hurt to know some good connection source who happen to be lawyer who can tell you as much as possible to avoid legal issues.

    • Leo says

      As someone who had in the past built up forum with over 1 million posts, here are some clues when it comes to your site:

      1. Congratulations on giving it a try, you are 19?, and want to start a blog, well at least you are learning something.

      2. Don’t expect it to succeed the way it is, but that’s ok, if you decide to build another project, you will have much better kick of experience, so consider your current blog a a learning experience.

      3. Now, to get real, firstly design sucks, font is too small and hard to read, paragraphs are filled, it’s hard to read, there are many grammar mistakes, while missing dot or comma here and there and similar is “fine”, “eat unhealthy cars and fats” is not fine and hard to read. There are no photos for solid proof, which would back up your claims.

      4. Secondly, domain name sucks.

      5. You have no SEO links, which makes it nicer not only for search engines, but also for readers.

      6. You have only 6 articles thus far, so not even considered a start.

      7. Content sucks, you write about cancer and diabetis? seriously?, This is a very slippery slope, since you are 19, unless you are enrolled in medical school and looking to get into this specific fields, it is apparently you have no clue what are you talking about. In best case, you copy-pasted info from “reliable” sources, which shows you are fake.

      8. There are other design things, like header photo, footer links, template and so forth, but number 1 is content sucks.

      9. Now, since you asked about feedback and got it, all is not bad. I do believe, that if at 19 you give it a try, you learn something, and after awhile, you will think of better idea, work on it and eventually make it work (years from now).

      10. Learn to accept constructive criticism, this is how you learn.

  35. Bob says

    Hope your Christmas was a great one, Victor and hope your new year is as well. Starting the year off right and once again diving into ALL the articles written here or nearly all. The super rich guys on TV or in books never gave me the education on life I sought. The professors sure did not. But Bold and Determined sure DOES!

  36. Jordan says

    Merry Christmas Victor. Have a Happy New Year as well. You are a great man. Thanks for all the great advice. Keep on kickin’ ass brother.

  37. Jean says

    Victor,

    I just saw your New Year offer.

    I can’t help but think you are brilliant.

    I wish you a huge success for 2015, you deserve it. But who cares what you deserve, you put so much work into it so you will have it.

  38. Sankarshan Acharya says

    Happy New Year, Victor!

    My name is Sankarshan Acharya. Remember this name because this is only the beginning of our relationship.

  39. says

    I’ve spent 2014 hardcore learning and developing my first 2 apps, ive learned a ton and am well on my way to publishing my first one either tomorrow or after tomorrow… i havent earned a penny yet from the app stuff, but i know this is how these things are, baby steps baby steps…

    My best friend and I are both office workers, i make 32k he makes around 40k, ive been trying to push him for a long long time to learn a skill and use it to make money and escape this bullshit wage slave life, but he’s fucking deadweight and not only that he had the nerve to say I’m all talk and no walk and that hes 8k ahead of me, so he’s the man, i should shut my big mouth until i make money….

    lol pure shock for me… that a person can completely miss the fucking point…. ok then let him enjoy his pathetic 8k earned from his pathetic career…. ill toil away on my apps for awhile longer and then laugh all the way to the bank. I just know I’m doing the right thing! I won’t let all the losers surrounding me fuck with my head!

  40. Cesar says

    It just struck me and I had to comment that B&D is in my subconscious mind no joke…

    I’ve been writing with “bold” Bic pens.
    I bought a Blackberry bold 9930.
    and just recently I bought an adjustable hand gripper and it’s orange and black/gray in color.
    http://p.globalsources.com/IMAGES/PDT/B1082167106/Hand-Gripper.jpg

    I swear B&D wasn’t on my mind at the time of their purchase not conscientiously anyways.
    Perhaps it’s just a coincidence but that’s highly unlikely I think.

    • TS says

      Currently using Heavy Hand grippers and IMTUG from Ironmind in addition to Ivanko Grippers. I would think that holding grips would further assist crushing grips. I think farmer’s walk and heavy deadlift will augment the process of increasing the strength of crushing grip. It would be an honor to end up in the hall of fame list of people who crushed CoC#4. So far only very few have ended up in that list. I heard it’s no joke, even CoC#3 is said to be hard. I been doing negatives with Ivanko grippers. Almost close to crushing CoC#3; but it’s just damn hard.

  41. TS says

    As a foreigner (non-white) myself, I can’t fathom over how a white American would willingly leave America in favor of a foreign country especially an Asian country. Now this isn’t a question out of ill-spite; it just has been my dying curiosity. I don’t want to pry into very aspects of your private life and I know you mentioned that you have nothing against America and you left
    America by your choice like this post

    http://boldanddetermined.com/2014/03/15/how-to-be-lucky/

    but I’m always scratching over my head why…

    I am aware that many manosphere and bolddetermined readers are white. Besides the economic factors and women, what attracts you to Asia (especially SouthEast Asia besides being “dirt cheap”). Any whites can answer this as well (serious post). Currently I live in America right now and I’m in a long-term process of leaving this country after I pay off all my debt and find ways to obtain necessary skills that can allow me to live entrepreneurship lifestyle and independent-free location. I see myself five to seven years at max.

    • Victor Pride says

      Why did you put dirt cheap in quotes? I don’t recall saying Asia was dirt cheap. It’s only dirt cheap if you want to live like a local. If you want to live well it isn’t dirt cheap. Premium goods are imported and are much more expensive. Last time I was in America I was blown away by how cheap everything was. I spent less to live in America than I do in Asia, that’s a fact.

      I personally can’t fathom how a SMART white male wouldn’t leave a sinking ship.

      • PM says

        yeah we in north america have things like walt-mart and costco with ridiculously low price… and alleys full of annoying and disgusting people.

  42. S.L says

    Victor Pride aka The Hero

    I thank you so much for the blog that shows no mercy to weakness and laziness. After reading only one post of your 200 posts I feel like a unstoppable spartan. I was different before I read your blog. I focused my life in shit like smoking weed and entering gangs not because of the so called “benefits” that the media spoon feeds but because I wanted to seek approval. One day i found your blog because I wanted to stop the porn abuse.

    Your words changed my life.

    After reading more and more of your articles I was mentally prepared to go to the gym and kick ass. I was shy back then to ugly girls, now I treat the hottest ones like shit. I joined a mma gym and it is now my favorite sport. Right now I am focusing on using only the things that are necessary like (food, water, shelter and clothes).

    The thing is I am 17 years old and many people including my family members think I am crazy. Many “kids” at my age are still playing video games and are on Facebook bragging about the little they have like a girlfriend or a boyfriend. One time when I was looking at Facebook i saw all the cool stuff people did with their girlfriends, i felt depressed that I wasn’t social enough but realized they follow shit lives.

    I will endure 6 months more of educational prison. Right now i am taking notes on life and start buying domains for a future blog and a book.

    A message to the young warriors and freedom fighters:
    Ignore political correctness by not arguing with idiots. Improve yourself one step at a time. Take pride in yourself and roar like a lion in front of the mirror. When you feel strong and think selfishly women will come running to you. Never settle for less. Always think what you can do to impact the world. Be the role model you wish your son could see you as.

    I am not the perfect writer but my message is clear enough.
    Best of luck
    S.L

  43. Connor says

    Hey Vic. I was thinking about shooting you an email but I figured I’d just ask my question here.
    How can one best leverage themselves and place themselves in advantageous/beneficial situations with a personality that can be best described as selectively mellow?
    Everyone in my life, from my kick ass Uncle to even my brother are very much energy absorbers. They feast off of constantly moving-moving-moving and always placing themselves in situations where they are constantly outgoing; they don’t seem to “drain” very fast.
    I’ve always been the opposite. I drain fairly quickly and while I can definitely be focused and determined to kill when it comes to my goals (in the gym, business, and elsewhere, which is where “selectively mellow” comes into play) I find myself having an inner preference for stereotypical “hippy shit”.
    Sitting by my pool while listening to a JRE podcast/reading a book/studying some stand-up while I listen to the water run down my waterfall, playing my guitar, being “chill” in social situations to the point where people have genuinely asked if I’m a “stoner”, and quickly losing interest in things. I guess my mind easily wanders.
    While my peers/acquaintances/”friends” are gossiping, cracking jokes, talking absurdly loud, and constantly seeking to be the center of their superficially useless universe, I find myself extremely troubled to earnestly engage. It’s definitely troublesome when you do want to enjoy yourself on occasion, but the energy just drains insanely fast and you just find yourself getting annoyed with having to be somewhere/be in a situation you don’t want to be in anymore, especially when your peers are talking about shit that is just so insanely useless/stupid that I literally am not sure what to think about it. If I was to ever go out, I’d much rather enjoy myself with like-minded people, hook up with some stupid sluts, then trip on LSD/shrooms and explore my mind than chug from the fucking beer kegs, post pictures on instagram/snapchat every 5 minutes to let everyone know I am indeed out with friends, and then do that every weekend. In fact, I’m not sure I could. I simply don’t have the “connections”.
    It’s so weird when you’re like that and no one else is, especially in this little ‘sphere of men and especially with my peers. I definitely have never met a single person in my life I’d even truly consider a “friend” and my calmness tends to be occasionally deceptively off-putting if I’m not particularly “doing much”.
    It especially sucks when you realize that the men around you who are getting what it is you want are natural clowns. My older peers/some of even my similar aged peers with fuckbuddies are huge clowns. They put so much emphasis on their standing in “social hierarchies” and how others perceive them, they always have something funny to say, and they entertain their pussy(ies) for hours on end, and eventually do end up fucking them. It’s such a superficial game and I can’t see myself playing it unless I just completely lost my mind, said “fuck it”, and smoked weed/took mind numbing narcotics every day just to hide who I am.
    Hopefully you can understand to what I’m trying to express here. I’ve probably asked this question before (I know for a fact I asked about your opinion on the social dynamics aspect on Twitter) but I never seem capable of efficiently articulating it and therefore never get responses that truly benefit me.
    Maybe you’re more selectively mellow and have advice on how to leverage it for your benefit so you can reap what it is other, more “energetic” men are reaping? Or maybe you just have advice in general?
    I want the benefits that these “extroverted” men get in life, but as the type of guy I am now, and since everyone in my life is indeed extroverted and my dad couldn’t say shit about this to me, I’d be curious to see your perspective on this.
    Thanks Vic. Take care.

      • Connor says

        Sure.
        I end up rambling too damn long, but I save everything I write for the future. It will be used and it will be information worth its weight in gold.

        How can one best leverage themselves and place themselves in advantageous/beneficial situations with a personality that can be best described as selectively mellow?

        Everyone in my life, from my kick ass Uncle to even my brother are very much energy absorbers. They feast off of constantly moving-moving-moving and always placing themselves in situations where they are constantly outgoing; they don’t seem to “drain” very fast.
        I’ve always been the opposite.

        Maybe you’re more selectively mellow and have advice on how to leverage it for your benefit so you can reap what it is other, more “energetic” men are reaping? Or maybe you just have advice in general?

        Hopefully that’s not too long again.

          • Connor says

            At this point, the question isn’t even worth asking since it lacks the foundation, but I’ll still ask it because I respect your word.

            I’m a generally mellow person.
            People in the world aren’t mellow, they are very obsessed with pettiness.
            My acquaintances are obsessed with said pettiness.
            I can’t escape my acquaintances and I lack meaningful friendships because of that.
            Do you have meaningful advice for these type of men? Can you relate?
            If not, I’ll just save it and continue seeking the answer.

            Thanks for the patience.

          • Connor says

            Actually, I’d appreciate some clarification, if you wouldn’t mind.
            Did you say leave because you didn’t want to answer the question (which I can understand, thanks for the patience), or did you say leave because you felt that because I said that if you couldn’t provide me with an answer I liked that I’d save it for later and that it’s almost “not worth asking” since it’s been so condensed that there’s no pretense for a proper response?
            I didn’t mean for it to come off as rude, although I’ll admit it was a poor choice of words, especially since I was coming to someone superior than me for their valuable time. Mistake pointed out, lesson learned.
            Looking back, it’s really not worth answering since it’s not a very important question and I’ll end up finding the answer myself, but I just wanted to clear that up.
            Thanks again and take care.

  44. Gallego says

    You have 4 posts on getting lean. The first 3 you talk about eating 2-3 meals a day to see your abs on the VictorPride.com blog you talk about eating 5 times. You never mentioned that on the boas book or 30 days of discipline. Eating 5 times a day is not spartan. Why didnt you choose the 2 meals per day to get lean this time around?

    • Victor Pride says

      Your IP address is from a prestigious university so you should ask your biology professor what happens when you eat less calories than you burn in each 24 hour period.

  45. says

    Hello Victor. I have read this article when it was published. But I needed to recapitulate on last year to be able to write some comment. I want to hold myself accountable to what I have promised last year on your page:
    1. Continue to add one set, every training on every exercise (or 5 kg of weight)
    I did so until I injured my right biceps so bad I couldnt even pull a handbrake on a car for almost two months. I went on TRT (still on even thoug I propably didnt needed it). Iam strongest in my life. Training all the time. Unfortunatelly with 100 kg of muscles I cannot do one arm pullup despite my best effords. However I do normal pullups with +40 kg *10 every week like it is nothing.
    2.Continue to f…. girls asses.- Yes I still do – even getting better.
    3. Continue my online projects by writing 2 articles daily.- I Did that, but after a while not by writing articles but other ways.
    4. Continue my trading, become one of top ten signal providers by april. ( Real money there :) – Became Top 10 on 3 most prestigious results confirming sites int he world.Still working to be better.
    5. Dont drink alcohol at least 100 days non stop.- I have not managed to do that, simply because I changed my mind :)
    Victor Thank You for all Your work and inspiration in 2014. Have All the best in life in 2015. Best regards
    Your reader from Slovakia

  46. Brett Riley says

    I have to admit I received the best Christmas present ever this year. The 9-5 company I worked for shut down the factory and laid me off. While everyone else was freaking out about how to pay for all there useless car and house debt I visited bold and determined. Now I am going to start 30 DoD and live my life with pride and purpose. Thanks Vic for all the encouragement.

  47. Mitchel says

    Hi Victor,

    I had a question about Badnet. I have a good idea for a site but am a little lost with web design. Was relieved to find out about Badnet. The question, I want to buy a wordpress theme and have one in mind. Should I buy it before I sign up with Badnet or can I buy it through Badnet?

  48. Italian G says

    Hey Victor. I watch porn about 32 times a day. I’m such a loser can you tell me what to do with my life? I eat pussy everyday and want to know if I can get big like you? You wrote I can eat 5 meals, but then you lied and said only two. As I’m typing this I’m looking at the floor because I don’t want to make eye contact with the screen. It intimidates me. I’m on 74 modafinil right now. Just shit my pants & I believe I’m phasing out of the space time continuum. Would this be a good time for me to start a bolg?

    For god sakes… Some of these questions you get… Good god man. How do you keep your sanity? Steak and Eggs?

      • One Step Closer says

        Ha ha ha! I agree!

        Blogging is not for everyone, for sure. Victor convinced me to start a blog (it’s gone now) and I almost lost my sanity trying to reason with unreasonable people.
        Par for the course.
        I quit my experiment in blogging because I hated it. I don’t care if it would have made me wealthy if I would have stuck with it; my happiness is more important than all of the riches in the whole wide world.
        So I went back to work in the private sector (I’m a scientist) and I can honestly say I never dread going to work. I fucking love what I do! And even though I still have to deal with a retard here and there (isn’t affirmative action wonderful?), what I have to deal with at work pales in comparison of what I was setting myself up for if I would have stayed with the blogging thing.
        But, yeah, I’ll repeat your question. Victor, how do you keep your sanity when people ask you mind-numbing questions?

        • Victor Pride says

          Comments are a part of the atmosphere of B&D. Yes you get some morons who want confirmartion they can eat 4 eggs instead of 3 but the majoritity of commenters are capable of thought and enjoy sharing their experience and their views. Like you did.

          How do I keep sane? I’m too goddamn man to be insane.

      • Italian G says

        I actually started my blog. I love it. When the time comes I’ll send the URL…. content, content, content. It’s like location, location, location for a restaurant. I’m about to cook some steak and eggs. San Diego is the sh@t btw. You like those Asian gals….? This place is packed with them. I personally like the white spoiled bitches. Call me a gluten for punishment…

  49. Peyton says

    Hey Victor.
    I just got a gym membership after some convincing from my mates and I was curious to know the benefits of weight lifting mentally. I already know the physical aspects, but I have a bad habit of getting into my own head at times and completely shutting off to the world. I get annoyed and depressed.
    Is weight lifting alone enough to give you a serious confidence boost? Does it reduce anything like anxiety/nervousness like a drug would or is it milder?
    I’ll lift for a few months and see how I feel (I’m in decent shape as it is, never been a fatso). If it’s still “depressed”, are there any healthy drugs/medications that you know of that can aid in helping me feel happy?
    Thanks mate!

    • Italian G says

      Bro – When you get 18 inch arms…. TRUST ME…. The anxiety goes away. Just do it. It’s in you. Steak and eggs. Cardio….

  50. Mitchel says

    Hey Victor,

    So I bought the a wordpress as requested. My winzip is outdated though. Is there something I can use for free instead?

      • Mitchel says

        I’m not really really sure either haha. I’m a little lost tech wise.

        I did buy a wordpress theme though already and am waiting now to be verified by Web hosting. I just signed up for the free domain deal you up with the ebooks.

        I’m a little lost with web design but hey, if there’s a will, there’s a way. I believe in my idea for the blog and after I figure a few things out, I should be good to go. .

  51. says

    It’s a bit passed Christmas but Merry Christmas anyways!

    I’m writing a post about my plans for this year and thought I would dig through B&D for some motivation.

    I started working on my website again, it’s more like a personal blog, but I think if I write a lot, and stick to a schedule, It’ll be much easier for me to make a profitable website in the future. If anyone wants to take a quick look at my website and let me know what you think, that would be cool, it’s not much right now…

  52. Mitchel says

    Well thanks for the WordPress install Victor. I received the ebooks. Really that plug in that only allows so many log ins.

  53. Fucking Nigerian says

    Greetings from Lagos, Victor Pride. I have been an avid reader of Bold And Determined for quite some time now, from the moment i found this site via a google search it was an instant favourite with me, thanks for all the quality content you provide your readers.
    I hold you in very high esteem,having myself been a proponent of the ‘differentiating myself from the average Joe’ school of thought long before i stumbled on BAD, even before i became a teenager for that matter.
    I need good advice, because you’re like the only person i know in the world right now who wouldn’t think i am greedy,stupid or some kind of demons are after me. I am at a difficult period of my life,i am 20,turning 21 in October and yet i cant say i have achieved any tangible thing in life. I come from a very religious Christian family and my parents are hell bent on standing in the way of me achieving my dreams. I want to make music but to them its ‘sin’.
    After high school which i left at 16, i knew formal education couldn’t offer me anything new,but i was just a scared lil boy and there was no way i would be able to tell my parents i wasn’t interested in College,so i went. I had to leave after one year of studying Law,its a great program but i just felt like am being remote controlled,like a zombie,i hated all the assignment deadlines,and stupid latin terms,i mean why should i suffer so much studying things i don’t ever intend to do anything with?
    After i dropped out at age 18,my dad summoned all his pastor friends and they all came taking turns talking to me,praying and casting out demons they said had possessed me. That period of my life was hell,before i left my Law program i had plans on how to make some money to at least afford to go to a good studio with quality equipments but the unimaginable pressure on a young me was so much all my plans simply vanished out of my head,i started to belief i was demon possessed for daring to quit what i find to be bullshit and just go straight for my dreams even though i was beginning to be nonreligious.
    Eventually i was forced to apply at another university and i got admitted once more,but its still the same old shit,same me feeling like a mindless person,like an empty head, it feels like am heading nowhere,i feel really depressed and am starting to feel i should quit again,i was given about $417 for tuition, in Nigeria its not that really a super huge sum but its something sizeable and i just feel sorry for my parents who expect me to graduate with something close to first class honors because i know i would never get close not because i am not book smart but because i have zero motivation to pursue this life they want for me. I was watching the FIFA world player awards gala a few days ago,something like the Oscars for soccer, while all those around me where screaming the names of their favorite players all i could do was shake my head,deep in thoughts in how much of a mess life could be,people who would castigate me for daring to be different where right beside me screaming names of great men with no university degree. I knew i could be on TV in a music awards gala,taking some booty home, but i do just feel caged.
    I have begun toying with the idea of leaving school again, this time thinking of using what should be my tuition fees to do some small time importing from China business i had been researching on for a while,to at least stay away from home(living near my university campus,away from home at the moment) pay my bills,go to a good studio and just concentrate on building the life i want starting from NOW.
    But i feel like i am a terrible son,breaking my parents heart like this ,dropping out twice and going into a profession their religious beliefs doesn’t agree with,i feel like using my tuition for what i plan i am robbing them sort off,even though i resent them sometimes for their part in bringing my life in this direction and their disregard for preventing me for chasing what i know would bring me happiness deep down i do love them and after all the troubles i had brought them in my 20 years of life adding this one more gets me worried about what effect it can have on them.
    I plan on running away right now and finding my own apartment(i can afford something really basic right now) start my little business,go to music studios and just right them a letter and tell them to forget about me and concentrate on my other two siblings(i am 2nd of 3), i would change my phone numbers,because i wont be able to stand talking to or seeing them, but i would call them once a month,and see them when i finally get on my feet. It breaks my heart but i feel i almost certainly need to cut off the people in my life presently if i must keep away negative statements,undue pressure and focus on building the kind of life i am obsessed with getting.
    This is my plight uncle Vic,thanks very much for reading i would very much love if you take the time to give a your piece of your mind to me on my intentions.

    • says

      Dude, you are in a rather classic situation with pushy patents. Happens in Australia as well.
      Parents with unrealistic expectations… forgive them for they are naive and cannot see your vision.

      In the long term, you must follow your dreams. May have to wash dishes on the side (the composer Glass did) try to distance yourelf from your parents without being too nasty . Later they will see you happy and will wany to reconnect. If not, then they have nothing to give you.

      Stangers will help you if they see you are boldly following a vision. And women will admire you.

      • TheGreyWolf says

        I have 7 children.

        They often, as a group, screw up.

        I give them the space to screw up, as long as they listen to my advice.

        I always give the same two conditions of their exercise of freedom:
        1) I reserve the right to say “I told you so”.
        2) I will NOT pay for their fuckups after ignoring my advice.

        After that, we can be friendly.

  54. Jovan says

    Hi Victor

    Im trying to make a blog and i wanna know if BADNEt would work with a blog in spanish cause it is my native language. Thanks

  55. says

    Hey, Vic, if I’m trying to get my arms up should I train bis/tris everyday? I follow an oldschool 70’s bodybuilder-esque routine, but my arms have been lacking since the start of my training two years ago. Hopefully you haven’t already outlined this on BOAS. Also, hope your new MMA ventures are treating you well in Saigon.

  56. Mitchel says

    Hi Victor,

    I have a Metro and Genesis framework and I was wondering something. As someone who is not so “techy” so to speak, should I import the demo and work backwards you think or just build it up from scratch?

      • Mitchel says

        Thanks for the reply.

        Surprisingly, I am actually figuring this out very quick. Not a techy guy but I made some huge strides today

  57. Mitchel says

    Victor,

    Do you recommend a plugin to prevent right clicking images? I’m already adding watermarks as I don’t want some of my images stolen but should I add that plugin as well?

  58. says

    Lots of good advice in these comments.

    One of the problems with social anxiety/ depression is that it feeds itself in a kind of cycle. You are timid approaching people so they are timid or dismissive in response. You dont approach many people , so statistically your chances of meeting someone on the same wavelenght is low.

    And in this modern world, young people, especially women can be quite callous with those who show weakness. This is less so in places that are not so spoilt and divorced from the harsh realities of life… i have found young travelling Israelis to be some of the kindest and least superficial people around.

    One of the best ways to get out of a rut is to join aa club … I joined the French Alpine Club in paris andade loads of good friends, was invited to chamonix and started on a life of mountaineering.

    Doing a hobby on your own will also attract people who are curious or want to join in. The advantage of a club, such as a running club or an outdoor club is that you are interacting with people in a very relaxed setting. Its not like youre trying to get someone on a date. But you end up having friends of both sexes, and maybe some romance.

    Keep up the good work Victor… men of the world unite ! Against the feminazi mediocre pompous bs that surrounds us. Let us be men for ourselves and for future generations.

  59. Mitchel says

    Hey Victor,

    I seem to be catching on well now with the web design. However, I can’t seem to figure out how to add disclaimers to the bottom of the metro theme. Any good articles/links to show how to do this?

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