On Bold & Determined I have said 1,456,329 times before that the way you dress and the way you look matter. It matters more than your “insides”. In fact, your outside appearance is a direct reflection of your insides. If you have a “good heart” but you look like a fat slob then your good heart is meaningless.
Each and every time a dirty bum asks me for money I say the exact same thing, “no”. If a well dressed man or woman asked me for change for this reason or that I would give it to them.
If a poorly dressed and disheveled friend or family member asked to borrow a sum of money, even if the deal seemed good, I would say no. If a well dressed and kempt friend or family member asked to borrow money I would say yes.
When I see a fatso I am repulsed. When I see a male dressed in a polo shirt with the collar popped and a big, fat belly sticking out and stick-figure arms I am disgusted. A lack of concern for one’s body is a tremendous character flaw and it exposes them as a weakling and a lesser being “on the inside”. Lack of discipline, lack of pride, and lack of self-respect does not make one’s insides good.
When I walk down the street I look at people and I know right away who is a “good” person, a person with self-respect and self-discipline, and I know right away who is a slob, a weakling, or a pushover. I know who can get things done and I know right away who cannot get things done. This is not merely physical, as in muscle mass, this is also determined by the clothing one has chosen to wear and the cleanliness of the person.
I will give you two examples of people I have seen recently.
I saw 5 kids who were dressed like metalheads. Black, heavy metal band t-shirts. Long, dirty hair. Dirty clothing. Poor posture. These kids clearly had no confidence and were pushovers. They could be made to do anything. They could be manipulated to do anything. They had no sense of self, no self-respect and no pride. I know this for two reasons.
The first reason is that they were dressed like metalheads, wearing t-shirts for the heavy metal band Avenged Sevenfold. The second reason I know they are pushovers is that all five of them were deaf. They were all speaking in sign language. They could not hear but they championed a heavy metal band and, more importantly, the look of a burnout metalhead.
Without even knowing the music the kids have chosen to dress in a manner that will not get them respect from anyone. They have two handicaps, they are all deaf AND they have chosen to give themselves another handicap and dress like slobs.
I was walking down the street and I saw a young man, maybe mid twenties. He was dressed clean and presentable, he had muscular arms that clearly were made of hard work. Upon closer inspection I saw that he didn’t have any legs, he had two prosthetic legs. Upon even closer inspection I saw that he only had one arm, too. A man with only one arm and no legs could find the time to present a good appearance, but 5 young men with a far less debilitating disability couldn’t take the time to shower, wash their hair or put on clean clothes.
If the one armed man in example B had asked me for a few dollars I would have said sure, here you go. The man was clean and presentable and showed self respect. If the dirty metalhead kids had asked for money I would have said no.
The guy in example B could have been a psychopath and the metalheads were all probably nice kids. I would not have gone out of my way to help those kids but if I had asked the kids for a favor I am sure they would have jumped all over themselves to help me. This phenomenon is known as the Halo Effect.
The halo effect is a cognitive bias in which you judge a persons character, their insides, by their outward appearance and their demeanor. Someone who is handsome, likable, clean and charismatic will benefit from the halo effect. The man who has the halo effect in people can do no wrong. No matter what he does he is forgiven and looked up to.
A man who does not have the halo effect will find his wife leaving him after he has one beer after he promised to quit drinking. The man who has the halo effect will find his wife apologizing to him after she found him cheating on her.
Two men can do the exact same thing. Man A will hit on an attractive female coworker. Man A is not in great shape, is not handsome and is not the most confident. Next thing he knows he is sitting in HR answering to sexual harassment claims. Man B is handsome, in shape and charismatic. This man can say the exact same thing to the woman and she will find herself giggling uncontrollably and giddy with delight.
Not looking your best is giving yourself a handicap. Not being your best is giving yourself a handicap. Willingly giving yourself this handicap is for losers. The winner, the Ubermensch, will present himself as the best at all times. And he will be able to take full advantage that looking the best has to offer. Everyone will judge a book by it’s cover, your cover should be fantastic.
Build yourself up. Don’t tear yourself down. Building up is for the supermen. Tearing down is for the incapable. Which are you?