There is no point in arguing with people who already have their minds made up.
It takes up your time and energy and doesn’t produce any tangible results.
It ends up with you getting angry, trying to convince someone of something that truly doesn’t matter at all.
But I don’t want people to think I’m such and such!
Why? How does you taking time from your life to pander to other people make any difference. People who are prone to arguing and name-calling have a very hard time understanding anything.
No matter what you say they are going to think whatever they want to think. No matter how much you argue and pander you can’t change someone who has their mind made up. Just let people think whatever they want and go on with your life.
We’re scared of words for no reason. We argue against words like it changes anything or makes any difference. It doesn’t make any difference.
They’re just words. Sometimes they have a basis in reality, sometimes they don’t. You can argue for or against the words as long as you want but it changes nothing about you as a person.
Time is precious. Don’t waste it arguing. Especially with people who aren’t worth a second of your time.
You’re a racist!
Uh huh.
You’re a sexist pig!
Uh huh.
You’re a homophobe!
Uh huh.
You’re wrong!
Uh huh.
You’re an elitist!
Uh huh.
You’re selfish!
Uh huh.
You’re obsessed!
Uh huh.
You’re a smart-ass!
Uh huh.
You’re stupid!
Uh huh.
You’re insane!
Uh huh.
You think you’re better than everyone!
Uh huh.
You’re so demanding!
Uh huh.
You’re just mad because blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Huh? Did you say something…
So true!
too bad i didnt read this one yesterday, I argued all day long with my wife. Then i went and looked at apartments to live in. I havent done it yet, but i’m getting close!!!
Same thing here man. I just fucking divorced her ass and sending her back to her country. Do it!!
What if the ability to frame an argument is not connected to decision making at all? Perhaps we reach decisions through an unconscious process and only construct an argument when trying to explain, defend, or convince others of our position. That would explain why most arguments between people are ultimately useless.
“Why do humans reason? Arguments for an argumentative theory”
http://www.dan.sperber.fr/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/MercierSperberWhydohumansreason.pdf
uh huh.
hahahahaha! ^
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience”-Mark Twain
Interested to know in a more practical manner how this might play out if the person who I’m trying to keep from arguing with is someone I can’t easily get rid of (e.g. Wife). The example in the article seemed more like passive aggressive retort to jabs from the antagonizer.
That cuts against the grain of the blog so I must be reading that wrong. Would a turn and walk with no response (like I didn’t even hear it) be a solid plan?
Arguing is a human process akin to shitting that is going to be around whether it chosen to be ignored or not. Ads make an argument for you to buy their products, this article is ironically making an argument. Isn’t being able to negotiate (aka presenting an effective argument to persuade the audience) essential for good business? Arguing effectively is the key. If you are reduced to shouting and name calling, that is not an argument. That is shouting and name calling. Do not blame the art of argumentation, blame feeble minds and egos.
Ask “What is the problem”? ~”you did this”…… “What is the problem?” “what are you talking about?” blabla…. “What is the problem?” Keep it up; when they cant come up with anything, except perhaps explitives, or storming off calling you crazy (whenever anyone starts yelling, cursing, etc. ~youve already won.) You will see that there really isnt a problem. Its really based on a persons past experience, their fear of losing something. Fear is Always behind any kind of anger. Car crash, your child, how you are perceived, your control over a situation or relationship…Always the person is feeling fear about something. (Same for you, if youre the one
angry, etc) There really is no answer to “What is the problem?” except where the person is fearful, which they probably wont want to talk about, reveal ~ if they even know. Works every time. Just stand your ground. (* What is your RESPONSE-ability here?)
Made a comment about something similar, then Victor refers me to this post.
That’s what I get for not checking the archives… (face palm).
Arrrrrrgh!!
Victor,
Let me quote a few things you said in your article (and refute them):
1. ” There is no point in arguing with people who already have their minds made up.”
Me: In a lot of situations, people haven’t made their minds up on as topic. This is where arguing can not only be useful, but necessary.
2. “We’re scared of words for no reason. We argue against words like it changes anything or makes any difference. It doesn’t make any difference. They’re just words. Sometimes they have a basis in reality, sometimes they don’t. You can argue for or against the words as long as you want but it changes nothing about you as a person.”
Me: Nobody is scared of words. People know better than to give a shit about meaningless labels and they act on that. The word itself is trivial to the underlying concept.
3. “Time is precious. Don’t waste it arguing. Especially with people who aren’t worth a second of your time.”
Me: Two of the three statements here are good. The second, however, is flawed. As mentioned before, arguing with people who are reasonably (if not more than that) intelligent can not only be refreshing and useful but in rare cases it is necessary.
(The quotes end here)
For the last part of the article, you just bring up examples of irrational Ad Hominem attacks to try and prove that arguing is a waste of time. That is not how an intelligent person argues so do think that this is all there is to arguing. Some of those statements may be true but they require proof.
It’s funny how Victor actually gave you the best possible answer
Uh huh.
This is the single greatest post in the history of B&D so far.
LOL all these people are arguing with victor and hes just sitting back laughing!!!! this makes my day!