Today is the 6th birthday of Bold & Determined, but let's talk about 4 and a half years ago. The real birth. I remember it like it was yesterday. How could I forget? It was the start of my new life. I can’t forget it like I can’t forget my name. It’s drilled into my brain. I remember my eyes as clear as a fucking bell – I had the eyes of fire.
I had the eyes of pure determination. Michael Myers is evil incarnate? I was determination incarnate. I had the eyes, and the eyes do not tell lies. I had them and I remember the picture I took of them.
I took this picture right before I started my real mission, before I really started to take B&D seriously, before I moved to Thailand with nothing but an absolute goddamn certain guarantee – I will make it big.
It was the do or die moment, but to me it was the do moment. “Or die?” Get out of here with that bullshit. It was only DO! And I knew it and I my eyes showed it.
I was absolutely certain that I could and would make money from Bold & Determined. I was certain there was no going back. I never had this useless conversation with myself “Oh geez, what if I want to come back? Is this is a mistake?” I had none of that. I was completely, absolutely and maniacally, certain that B&D would work.
That was 4 and a half years ago. That’s the same amount of time it takes to get a college degree. That’s the time I spent in Thailand and Vietnam. That was the time I built by body, my brain and my brand – my pyramid of greatness. That was the period that followed the eyes. Remember the eyes I had? I’d had the eyes of certainty.
4 and a half years later – today – I made a million dollars from the blog. OK, technically it was 3 days ago I made a mill from Bold & Determined directly (not including any other companies I may or may not manage your honor).
3 days ago I officially made a million dollars from Bold & Determined. It took a little over 4 years, the same amount of time it takes to pay for a useless college degree. Blogs don’t make money? Ok, definitely don’t start one with BADNET.com right now. College is a much better choice! Just wasn't a good choice for me…
I hated college, I hated school. I always wanted to be like Rambo. I wanted to walk the world alone with nothing but my nuts and my guts. I would have rather lived in the Jungle than spend another second rotting in Dallas. I made money in Dallas too, but I was STUCK! I needed to be on the fucking move, headed forward, headed to the future, headed to the capital of crazy – B A N G K O K!
Whew boys, what a fucking ride that was. I was slightly broke for my first bit in Thailand but I was alive and I lived. I never spent much money in Thailand, I spent all my money in the last year and lived like an old king, preparing to die.
Somewhere along the way, I lost the eyes. I let the back pain get to me. I let the heat get to me. I didn’t breathe like I should have and it cost me. I almost died this year because I didn’t know what else to do. How will I end my back pain? How will I stop being so angry and crazy at every little thing? How can I stop being this fucking disgusting ghost of a human and how can I crawl back out of the hole?
I’d crawled out of the hole before. I’ve gone broke before and I’ll probably go broke again. Making money again is easy. The hole I was in was not money related, I’d had all the money in the world. Mine was physical torment and became mental torment. I wrote NWR so that I could just go into the mountains until I died like Musashi. I didn’t know what else to do! I can’t live like this disgusting ghost of a human anymore!
“I will give the world NWR and I will be remembered for centuries and then I’m gone.” It wasn’t that I was suicidal. Not at all! I just couldn’t bear the pain in my heart and in my back and in my head anymore. I couldn’t imagine living to 40 years old, let alone 70!
I was just going to leave and let the tiger come and eat me whenever he comes. That was the plan. Then I’d had an amazing revelation. I had used an intern to ghost-write a book for me called High Energy Entrepreneur. I developed this entire system of scheduling your day around your circadian rhythm. It's what I had been doing and it worked like a charm! But… I couldn’t write it! I couldn’t write anything! I could NOT WRITE! Do you get it?
My eyes and my head were not clear. I was fuzzy. I had brain fog. I couldn’t see the words anymore. They’d come out backwards. I had to have someone else write High Energy Entrepreneur. Writing became impossible for me! The thoughts wouldn’t leave my head and when they finally did leave my head, I could not type! The words would not come out of my fingers the right way.
I’d had High Energy Entrepreneur ghost written. I’d carefully skyped with the writer every single day and we wrote the book together. I spent 3 hours a day with him telling him the formula in crazy speak, and he turned it into words that people can understand. Every day I'd give crazy, wild notes and he would return the next day with the finished chapters and we would continue our work. And we wrote a masterpiece in High Energy Entrepreneur.
But I had to write New World Ronin alone, so I could go into the mountains in peace, knowing I did what I can to save people who were feeling like me – down in a hole with nowhere to go but the mountains.
And when I was done writing New World Ronin, I re-read one of the chapters from High Energy Entrepreneur (unpublished). And holy shit… it described me PERFECTLY! It described what I was missing perfectly! I understood instantly what had been my problem for so many years! I was too idle and a key ingredient was totally missing.
I didn’t even remember this chapter, but it found me like a magnet. In the middle of my haze I read it like you would read Revelations. It was an obvious eye-opener — I was lacking MOMENTUM because I had been staying still for too long. Letting the back pain stop me. Letting the foggy head stop me. I said no more. I’m going to die or I’m going to try. So I decided to try.
I forgot to tell you one thing… I haven’t slept in 16 years. I’ve been diagnosed with sleep apnea. I wake up 30 times per HOUR. Not per night, I wake up 30 times per hour. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 16 years. I remember the last time I’d had a good night sleep. I remember it perfectly! I was 18 years old and I literally woke up and thought to myself “That was the best sleep I’ve had in such a long time.” I woke up that morning so calm, so ready and so focused.
That was 16 years ago and that was the last time I’ve slept through the night. So I went to a famous doctor to get a special mouthpiece to breathe at night. The mouthpiece was $4,000 but I didn’t care. I would have paid $40,000 to be able to sleep.
I bought the mouthpiece but the doctor told me one thing I never, ever, ever thought of. The doctor told me that when I slept, the tongue depressed and blocked the airway. “Yes, doctor. It blocks the air. That’s called sleep apnea.” Then the doctor told me one thing I never thought of, the most important thing in the world – He said “No! It's not about air… it's all about OXYGEN!“
Oh my god, I thought, I’d overlooked the most vital component in the world. In my quest for energy I overlooked the number one very most basic – oxygen. It was hiding in plain sight. I started my research and what I found shocked me. Not only had I not been getting enough oxygen during my sleep… I wasn’t getting enough oxygen when I was awake!
Not only had I been deprived at night, when I was awake I was often holding my breath and not even realizing it. Many people have said to me “you’re not breathing” and I always said the same thing right back “I’m obviously breathing because I’m alive.” I didn’t realize it it then but then were right and I was wrong.
I literally wasn’t breathing! I was often holding my breathe and not even realizing it, and I was not alive – I was living like a ghost. Remember all those problems I’d had writing? Of course I was having such a hard time with the words – I was literally depriving my brain of it’s most vital necessity – oxygen.
How exactly was I not breathing? It sound silly, but listen to me because this could save your life. When a baby is sleeping, watch it’s belly. The belly is going up and down because the baby is breathing deeply into it’s lungs.
When we grow up, we learn to breathe from our chest instead if our stomach. This is called shallow breathing and many billions of people do it and do not realize it. This does not get enough vital oxygen into the deepest part of your lungs. You are literally missing out on the most vital ingredient for humans – oxygen.
- If you don’t eat for 30 days, you’ll die.
- If you don’t drink water for 2 days, you'll die.
- If you don’t breathe oxygen for 2 MINUTES you’ll die.
Oxygen is the #1 most important thing in the world for humans, and I’d been overlooking it completely. Not only was I shallow breathing, I was often holding my breath without realizing it. This often happens when you get angry frustrated or otherwise in a bad mood.
Holding your breath robs more oxygen from your brain, and lack of oxygen mimics the symptoms of what? What “disease” would make it hard for me to write? — Attention Deficit Disorder! Which I had ALL the characteristics of. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t sit still and I couldn’t stay on the move. I couldn’t do anything!
I thought I had ADD when the answer was hiding in plain sight, totally obvious – YOU ARE NOT GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN. It took a $4,000 mouthpiece to learn what everyone knows intuitively but forgets to practice.
What do you say the someone is angry? You say “just breathe”. What if no one ever says “Just breathe” or what if you don’t listen? What happens is you don’t breathe and you get the same symptoms as ADD/ADHD -Anxiety/Confusion/Memory loss/Difficulty making decisions – because you are not getting enough oxygen!
What do they always say? They say JUST BREATHE. What would ol’ man Victor say? He would say “Just breathe! And get a geisha. You could lose 4 years of your prime because you just weren’t breathing. Literally.”
I made a mill in those 4 years. I wonder what I’d have made if I’d been awake, alert, calm and focused instead of dazed, lazy and slow? I’d say 10 million but I’m not one to cry about the past. I’m looking forward to the 10 million I make in 2017, or as it’s really called… Two Thousand and Victory.
Welcome to two thousand and Victory, we are starting early. Just breathe, get a geisha, and calm down. This is going to be a wild ride and two things are going to happen: This tea party in the jungle is going to happen in real time and YOU are going to become a character in this story.
How’s that for wild? See you soon. See you sooner than you ever thought you would see me.