Note: Article updated February 4, 2015 with a solution for checking your testosterone levels. You can use Private MD Labs to get your blood test without a Dr. approval.
Gentlemen, I am going to let you in on the secret of living a long life full of happiness, health, vitality and drive. But first, I want you to do me a favor. Think of all the old fellas that you know. Think of all the old fellas you see in the gym. The old fellas in the gym belong to two categories. In one category, you have the walking train-wrecks. They have big fat beer bellies or they look like they’re about to break a hip as they sit on the thigh abductor machine. The other type of old fella, type 2, is the enviable type. This is the type that has low body fat, above average muscle mass and a good and healthy outlook. This is the type of old fella you look at and think “wow, that old fella is in great shape. I hope I look like that when I’m older“.
Guess what, friends….
Those old fellas who are in tremendous shape didn’t get there by “dedication” or by eating chicken and rice or by having “good genetics”. They got there by taking their destiny into their own hands. Rather than wither away like the rest of the old farts, the “young in spirit and body” old fellas got there by manipulating their hormone balance.
You see, there is one very important hormone for men. This hormone is called testosterone.
Certainly you have all heard of testosterone and you have most certainly heard about what a killer drug it is and how your dick will fall off if you take it.
So rather than take it, most of us just suffer. And believe me friends, suffer is the most appropriate word. Testosterone levels are falling worldwide at astronomical rates. That isn’t my opinion, even though it is easily observed with my own two eyeballs, that is a scientific fact.
Fret not friends, because there is an answer to the epidemic of low testosterone.
You simply do not have to grow old pitifully. You can take a bite of an apple fallen from the tree of life and stay young in body and mind until your last days.
The cure, friends, for this withering killer, is called synthetic testosterone and is available to you 100% legally by your kindly, local Doctor. It’s called Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
It can also be called the fountain of youth, the tree of life.
How can you tell if you have low testosterone? Well, if you are alive today it is a certainty that you have lower testosterone levels than an older man.
Recently, I convinced a good friend of mine to go get his testosterone levels checked. He simply did not believe me that he may have low testosterone levels. He thought his doctor would laugh him out of the office. He claimed “The Doctor’s gonna look at me and laugh. I’m 34 years old but I look 24, I’m in good shape, I’m not fat“.
My response was “If you are alive today you have low levels“.
Eventually he went to go get checked, along with his father, and guess what? His levels were incredibly low. His levels were so low that his father, who is 20+ years older than him, had HIGHER levels than he AND his father had low levels also.
How do you know if you might have low testosterone?
- If you are alive today you almost certainly have low levels.
- If you experience muscle loss or inability to gain muscle.
- If you experience fat gain.
- If you are fatigued or have sleep problems.
- If you have gynecomastia (aka bitch tits).
- If you experience hot flashes.
- If you have night sweats.
- If you have low sex drive and weak erections.
- If you are irritable.
- If you are depressed.
- If you experience hair loss.
- If you have memory problems.
- If you have memory problems (ha).
I’ll bet good money that a lot of those symptoms are very familiar to everyone reading this. The above symptoms, friends, are what it means to stay natural. When you say you want to stay natural, you are saying you want to do nothing about these symptoms even though they can be fixed.
How do you fix low levels of testosterone?
Easy. It’s called Testosterone Replacement Therapy or TRT.
You go to your local Doctor and you say “Doc, I have low T. Fix me up“. Your kindly Doctor will prescribe the necessary ingredients to get you fixed up and feeling like a teenager again. He will monitor and check your hormone levels and blood levels as a precaution. You will be in the hands of a professional.
Your Doc will prescribe you one of two options:
- Injectable testosterone to be injected into the glutes or the shoulders once every week to every two weeks.
- A testosterone cream that you rub into your skin everyday.
How will you feel if you supplement with testosterone?
In a word: great. In two words: fucking great.
You can expect better recovery from intense exercise and less soreness. You can expect enhanced muscle growth. You can expect erections like when you were a teenager. You can expect to feel like a fucking man. As simple as that.
Now, I know we have all been told about the horrors of using testosterone. I have some good news for you friends, and that good news is this: Those slobs telling you how bad using synthetic testosterone is are one of two things:
- Fat/Skinny/Skinny-Fat pieces of shit themselves and have no idea about the reality.
Let’s look at some of the reasons you may wish to not use Testosterone Replacement Therapy:
Excuse #1: “I want to stay natural“.
Before I expose the fallacy of staying natural, ask yourself this important question: Why? Why would you possibly want to stay natural, knowing that modern science can give you a drink from the fountain of youth? Knowing that, instead of withering and decaying, you can age tremendously and gracefully. Knowing that you can have the testosterone levels of a man instead of a little boy.
Have you answered this question and decided that you still wish to stay natural?
Ok. Now I will tell you the fallacy of your argument.
YOU ARE NOT NATURAL.
You have not been natural for one minute of your entire life.
If you were natural you would have grown up in the forest, eating the animals that you killed and the grubbage that you could find.
Instead, your mother drank soda pops while pregnant with you, fed you soy baby formula and you grew up in comfort eating genetically modified and hormonized foods.
Go to your kitchen right now and look at the ingredients in your food. Where do you suppose you can find all those ingredient together naturally?
Your milk and beef is modified with hormones which cause women to act like men and men to act like women, your fruits and vegetables are sprayed with pesticides and herbicides, your water is laced with estrogen enhancing chemicals and almost all food and drink is stored in plastic which seeps estrogen enhancing chemicals.
You see, you’re pretty far from natural. Unless you have never eaten a cheeseburger, never had a bottle of water, never eaten a salad, never heated up food in a plastic container, never drank a soda pop, and never eaten soy (which is an ingredient in all boxed food) you are not natural. You have been eating hormones every single day of your life. All the food you have been eating for you entire life has ESTROGENIC EFFECTS.
There is no such thing as natural. There is only advanced deterioration. When you are saying “I want to stay natural” what you are really saying is “I want to rot“.
Excuse #2 “I don’t want to be dependent on TRT for the rest of my life“.
There is a common fear of being dependent on hormones “to function” for the rest of your life.
Would you like to know why that is a silly fear?
Ok, I will tell you.
It is a silly fear because every single man alive needs TRT. The one’s who do not take it simply suffer in silence. The ones who do take it know the tremendous positive effects it has and when it is gone miss the shit out of it.
Every man needs it, the older you get the more you need it. You don’t want to be dependent on it but that doesn’t mean shit, you are dependent on it and will be forever no matter how you feel about it.
Testosterone levels are falling worldwide, by 1% per year each year.
“A man born in 1970 had about 20 percent less testosterone at age 35 than a man of his father’s generation at the same age.”
That’s for a man born in 1970. A man born in 1980 will be worse, a man born in 1990 is half-girl already and a boy born in 2000 is probably going to be wearing pigtails and dresses when (s)he grows up.
Just because you aren’t taking TRT right now doesn’t mean you don’t need it, or that you shouldn’t be taking it – you are just suffering the consequence of low testosterone. You need it now and you need it forever. It’s already happened and you are already dependent on it for what should be normal testosterone levels. That, friends, is the reality of the world we live in.
Excuse #3 “I have naturally high T“.
Sure, some men do. Until they reach a certain age. But most of the men reading this do not have naturally high levels and that’s because most men in general do not have high levels and that’s because worldwide testosterone levels are falling at an astronomical rate. It’s pure delusion to think living in a completely unnatural environment and ingesting estrogen enhancing chemicals daily will let you keep high levels.
A conservative age where men need to to take matters in their own hands is 30. My own personal opinion is that levels plummet between the ages of 25-27. In fact, there are most certainly teenagers alive today that need Testosterone replacement therapy. This is the world we live in. Men are becoming feminized at astronomical rates and women are becoming masculinized. You think somehow this worldwide trend has spared you? It hasn’t.
Excuse #4 “I want to up my testosterone naturally“.
Good luck. How do you suppose you can up it naturally in an unnatural environment? Start eating non-genetically modified food and non-hormonized meat and non-pesticided veggies? Ok, that’s a good start but are you going to do this forever? Where do you find these foods you can be 100% sure aren’t estrogenic? How can you be sure that truly natural food will be available in the future? Family farms that produce natural food are going the way of the Dodo bird. Corporate mega farms are almost certainly going to be the only option in the future, and those mega-farms don’t give two cents about giving you “natural” food.
And how exactly do you plan to reverse a lifetime of abuse?
The simple answer is that you can’t. Obviously, natural methods do have their benefits and should be practiced, but they work only on a small scale compared to what TRT can do for you.
Excuse #5 “I eat paleo, my testosterone levels are definitely high“.
For those of you who do not know what paleo is, it’s a delusional diet where you eat foods supposedly only found in the paleolithic era. The followers of the paleo diet think it’s the holy grail and the cure for all ails.
The paleo diet doesn’t work for two reasons:
1) The same as listed above, you can’t naturally recover from a lifetime of unnatural abuse. If you have eaten unnatural foods through your most important developmental stages (teenage years) you are messed up for life. You cannot recover because you do not have the proper hormone balance anymore, maybe you never did in the first place, and what levels you do have drop dramatically after the age of 25 or so.
2) Last time I looked at the calendar it didn’t say 10,000 BC. Today is today, you don’t live in the past unless you’re mentally unstable. You’ve got to make the best of what you can do today, and today we do not have any of the same food as in the paleolithic era. But we do have modern scientific miracles like synthetic testosterone.
Excuse #6 “Testosterone gives you roid rage and shrinks your dick and kills your sex drive and makes you less of a man“.
If testosterone is so evil to you it is probably best to do nothing about the problem.
For all of the non Chicken-shits who aren’t deathly afraid of testosterone I will tell you what it really does.
First of all, a Doctor prescribed dose is going to be pretty low. It’s going to be very low compared to a bodybuilding dose. It’s simply going to bring your levels to where they should be in the first place. It’s going to make you feel better, it’s going to make you healthier, it’s going to make you vibrant, it’s going to make you recover better and faster and, gasp, it’s going to make you more of a man.
But doesn’t test shrink your dick and kill your sex drive?
One would really have to be an idiot to think this. Think of a naturally high testosterone male. What comes to mind? Heavy muscle mass, no-bullshit attitude, and a sex maniac. Guess what, that’s what synthetic testosterone does to you – it increases your sex drive, it increases your muscle mass, and you have no tolerance for bullshit. Some call it roid rage, but it is simply not putting up with nonsense.
But wait a second, I heard it shrinks your dick and makes you impotent.
No. Testosterone can and will shrink your testicles if you abuse it but here is something you won’t hear on the nightly news: Testosterone can make your dick bigger. Literally and figuratively. You see, testosterone engorges the muscles with blood, when you get an erection your muscle fills with more blood and, tada, becomes bigger.
Excuse #7 “Testosterone is a killer and will give you cancer and a heart attack“.
Testosterone is the key to male vitality. To be scared of testosterone is to be scared of the boogey-man. If you’re scared of testosterone you are literally scared of nothing. It is entirely possible that if you are scared of testosterone you are scared of success.
Excuse #8 “I Don’t Want to Use Drugs“.
I guess if you get a headache you don’t use an aspirin, you just suffer through it huh?
Most people don’t want to use drugs, but you’ve got to make the best of a bad situation.
Personally, I would prefer to have naturally high levels for the rest of my life and never have to worry about any of it. Unfortunately, I don’t live in fantasy world where that’s an option. I live in the real world and I take real steps to deal with real problems.
What is the next step?
Go to the Doctor. Go to 5 Doctors if you have to. Fix the problem. You do not have to rot with age. You do not have to grow fatter by the year. You do not have to grow weaker by the year. You do not have to be shackled by the testosterone reducing environment. That is a choice you make. You can take your destiny into your very own hands.
Growing old naturally is the worst choice you could make. At 25 years old, or 27 years old, or 30 years old, or 35 years old it is time to get tested, checked and fixed. 35+ years old gentlemen should not walk to the Doctor, they should run. If you have low hormone levels, and most readers certainly do, the only side effects of TRT are positive.
The Doctor will check your levels and prescribe what is needed to you. The testosterone given to TRT patients is either a gel that you rub into your skin or an intramuscular injection. And if you are going without it, friend, you are suffering. Get to the Doctor and at the very least get checked. You will probably be surprised at how low your levels are.
Easy, peasy Japaneasy and everybody’s happy.
How to get blood work
You can get blood work done without Dr. approval using a company called Private MD labs. You simply order the test you want, in this case order a test that checks testosterone levels, pay for it online and they will send you to a lab near you draw blood and check results.
- B&D recommends you get the ‘Hormone Panel for Males’ test from Private MD labs.
Until next time.
PS – Fellas, I got nothing to gain from this post. A post like this won’t make me any friends with those brainwashed anti-testosterone freaks infesting the internet. Fuck them. Let those fucking zombies rot, BOLD & DETERMINED is for winners who wish to be strong, bold, and be the best. If you want to be the top dog in your world, you’ve got to have the hormone balance to back it up. It’s about taking your destiny into your own hands, friend.
PPS – I’m not a Doctor. If you have specific questions ask your Doctor, that’s what he’s paid for.