1) Eat Slow to Stay Lean
Next time you’re out to eat around a bunch of people, watch them. All the lean people eat very slow. To lean people, naturally lean, food does not seem to be a big deal. They’ll have a whole plate of food in front of them and they’ll eat a bite here, a bite there and continue the conversation. I was out with a real deal lean girl the other night, I ordered 3 plates of food and she ordered one plate. I finished all 3 of my plates before she finished her one plate. To stay lean naturally, eat slow and let it digest.
2) Use BioFreeze on Your Tender Joints and Ligaments
BioFreeze is a life saver, I love the stuff. It’s like IcyHot except 1,000 times better. You rub it on your tender joints and it gives you a heating feeling and makes your joints and ligaments feel better. I was at the gym one day whining about how my shoulder was hurting and a gym rat buddy clued me into BioFreeze. I made a mad dash down to a local massage parlor that same day to pick up a bottle at double price. If you’ve got some hurting shoulders, elbows, knees or whatever grab a bottle of this stuff and let it work it’s magic. BioFreeze will allow you to lift with sore or hurting bodyparts.
You’ve got two ways to buy BioFreeze:
Pro Tip: Unless you are in pain right now and need BioFreeze asap, you should order from amazon. When you pick up a bottle at the chiropractors or at the massage parlor you will pay double the price.
BioFreeze comes in two flavors: You can buy as a gel and rub onto your skin with your hands and it comes as a roll on stick, like deodorant, and you can roll it on without having to touch it. I use the roll on stick and I rub it on my shoulders before I hit the gym.
3) High Carb or High Fat / Never Both
The combination of eating high carb and high fat equals fat-assery. Choose high carb or high fat, either/or but never both. Of course, you want moderate to high protein always. For a natural guy you would be better off eating high fat, high protein and low carb. For a hormonally enhanced bodybuilder, high carb, high protein and low fat is fine. For a look at what high fat / high carb / low protein does you can take a look at middle easterners. Those people have some of the worst bodies on earth. No muscle and high fat.
4) Eat Pineapples and Drink Pineapple Juice
For a hormonally enhanced trainer, pineapple is highly advisable because pineapple is very good for your liver and, if you are using hormones like superdrol or testosterone, you need to pay special attention to keeping your liver healthy. Fresh pineapple of course is the best, but in a pinch you can grab a 6 pack of those little cans of dole pineapple juice or grab some canned pineapple.
5) Drink Egg Whites / Eggs
Eggs are mother natures protein shakes. They are natural, healthy, cheap and readily available. Whey protein is garbage, toxic waste filled with nasty chemicals. I have been drinking eggs for years and I have never been sick from drinking them. I even drank eggs in China and never got sick. The salmonella risk is completely overblown, you are more likely to get salmonella from eating salad but those stupid freaks on the internet never tell you “don’t eat salad because you’ll get sick”. The trick is to never drink an egg that has a cracked shell. If the shell is cracked, throw it away. If an egg does have salmonella it will be on the shell, so never crack your eggs on the glass you will be drinking from. Crack the egg somewhere else and then drop the egg into your glass. I typically drink 6 of them. Just pretend you are chugging a beer, you do not need to chew the yolk, it will go down just fine. Eggs don’t have much of a taste, but the texture can be a little gross. After you get used to it, it’s nothing.
If the thought of drinking eggs repulses you there is another solution.
Enter Cartons of Egg Whites……….
At the grocery store you can buy cartons of egg whites (called egg beaters, or the generic version). The cartons run about $4 and they are pure, complete protein. They have been pastuerized so there is no way they can make you sick. Even better, they do not have the yolk which is the hardest part to mentally overcome drinking. Egg whites have almost no taste, you can chug a whole glass and it tastes almost like water. You can also mix in some powdered lemonade or pink lemonade and it will taste like like lemonade. I made the switch from whole eggs to the cartons of egg whites and I absolutely love it. They are extremely easy and there is no cleanup. I have a glass after a workout and I try and have a glass before bed.
Tips: There will be two types of egg white cartons at the grocery store. Type 1 is is pure, 100% egg whites and type 2 will have some other bullshit in it. Be sure and buy 100% egg whites.
You may get diarrhea at first after drinking eggs or egg whites, but eventually your body will get used to it and you will be fine.
6) Follow Body of a Spartan
I developed the Body of a Spartan method while I was living in China. I had two goals in mind: a) Get lean b) Get strong. And that’s exactly what I did. I got stronger and I got leaner. I had some rock hard abs and I was lifting heavy as hell, naturally. One thing about lifting naturally is that your recovery is no bueno and you get so goddamn sore. Because the Body of a Spartan method is not a typical bodybuilding routine, it focuses more on heavy weights and low reps, it really cuts down on the soreness. I spent way too long spinning my wheels doing stupid ass bodybuilding routines, and not using hormones, and being constantly sore as a result. You can build a physique naturally, you can get strong naturally, and you can do it with Body of a Spartan. You will not get jacked following bodybuilding magazine routines if you are natural.
Check out Body of a Spartan here.
7) Plate Loaded Hammer Strength Machines are Good
I have said many times that machines are poop and free weights are the way to go. That is still true, but there are exceptions. You need to build up your strength first before you play with machines, and you do that with free weights. But when you become strong and advanced, machines have some huge benefits. Especially the plate loaded hammer strength machines, and double especially the hammer strength back machines. If you are using a 25 lb plate per side on a back machine you are wasting your time. If you are using two 45 lb plates or more then machines are ok. To build up your back strength focus on pull-ups, chin-ups, deadlifts, bent barbell rows, and rack deadlifts. When you are strong you can start playing with lat pulldowns, seated rows, and all those fancy plate loaded hammer strength machines to really blow your back up.
8) Strength First, Feel the Weight Second
When you first start training you need to get stronger. Period. End of story. You get stronger by lifting heavy weights. You’ll see some big mothertruckers in the gym curling 15 lb dumbbells but those are advanced guys. For a new guy you’ve got to get strong. If you are a natural guy you will never get benefit from using tiny weights. The ironic thing is that you have to be advanced to use tiny weights. Get strong first, get big first, sculpt later with baby weights.
How do you get strong as hell? Body of a Spartan, of course.
Taking the time to build up that strength will pay off. I’m not a naturally super strong guy. In the strength department I am probably right about average for a white man of my height and build. But I took the time to lift heavy and develop that strength. I paid attention to getting stronger. I made a plan to get strong. Now I am one of the strongest guys in any commercial gym anywhere. That isn’t braggadocio, that’s fact. Having strength is a great feeling and I highly encourage you all to become strong.
9) You Will Put on Some Fat to Get Big
If you’re a skinny guy you need to eat, eat and eat some more. It isn’t pleasant, it isn’t fun, and it isn’t comfortable but it’s necessary. Start eating to get bigger. I started at 130 lbs at a height of almost 6’2 .I had to fucking eat and eat. Nowadays I’m over 200 lbs and I maintain on two meals a day, but to get here I had to force feed and I lost my abs to get here. If you’re a skinny guy forget about eating clean, you aren’t going to put on weight eating chicken and rice. If you’re a lean-skinny guy and want to get big, start eating. Maybe you’ll lose your abs and maybe you won’t. If you’re a skinny-fat guy and want to get bigger, start eating. You never had abs so don’t worry about it. If you’re a skinny-fat guy do not diet and get lean. You need MUSCLE to get lean. If you diet as a skinny-fat guy you’re going to look like dogshit. You need muscle first, and if you don’t have muscle underneath you’re going to look like 120 lbs of shit instead of 140 lbs of shit.
10) Don’t Waste Your Money on Supplements
I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it a hundred more times. Supplements are junk and you will never build muscle by using supplements. Supplements can help with general health but you are never going to get jacked from using supplements. Liver tabs are great supps, but that’s because they are liver, just dried liver. I am also currently taking a product called Animal Flex, which is designed to help protect and support your joints from continuous weight lifting. I’m 67% sure it has done nothing to help my joints, but then again I’m bad about taking it every day.
11) The One Song Playlist
This is an idea I got from the Hollywood Physique. It’s exactly what it sounds like, you listen to one song on repeat while in the gym. Pick a song that pumps you up and just let it play on repeat. Music can and will have a huge impact on your workout, but you can easily get sidetracked dicking around with your mp3 player, trying to find the right song. Pick one song that fires you up and get to the gym and go to work. I prefer powerful music full of aggression (here is my current choice) but I also have a secret weapon: sad sack, sappy songs, ballads, and lonesome music. This type of music really does a number on your emotions and is a great choice for the gym, just not everyday. Once in a while I’ll put on Dwight Yoakam or Michael Bolton and hit them weights with a passion. Pick whatever music fires you up.
BONUS: What To Do When You Get Big
1) Enjoy It
As a big man you will get respect from people. People who would not have thought anything of you before. Big men, as in not fat, are rare and command respect. People will defer to you. People will get out of your way. Little girlies eyes will pop out of their heads and their jaws will drop as they stare in awe. You will get big, bright smiles form the little cutie in the cereal aisle. Girlies will say “Whoa, you’re big like Vin Diesel“.
Note: I also keep my hair in a military style high and tight (see pic of ol’ Big Bear below). For some reason the combination of being big and having a high and tight haircut commands respect. I get respectful nods and comments constantly. Of course, I always get asked how long I’ve been in the Marines and I have to explain that’s just a fashion choice. If you’re looking for a clean and easy hairstyle you should try the high and tight. I’ll never go back to having long, hippie hair ever again. With the high and tight your hair is always clean looking, you don’t have to wash it much, you never have to style it, and you are always ready to go. Be sure to go to a barber, and not a stylist.
2) How to Scratch Your Back
When you get bigger you will become less flexible, unless you stretch, making it impossible to scratch parts of your back. I don’t stretch, so I am not flexible. As a consequence I cannot scratch parts of my back or sometimes my shoulders. Never fear, I have a secret weapon: a fork. I keep a fork on my bedside table and whenever I get an itchy back I grab the fork and go to work. You can also get yourself a human back scratcher, just make sure she grows her nails out.
When you’re out and about and don’t have a fork or a girlie, you may have to scratch your back like a Bear scratches it’s back on a tree. Find an edge that is the right height and sharpness and rub your back on it like a Bear. Looks stupid, but sometimes it’s the only way to get the middle of your back.
3) How to Put on Your T-Shirts and Not Get Deodorant Stains
“But Victor, I’ve been putting on t-shirts my whole life lol”
When I started getting bigger, I would always get deodorant streaks on my t-shirts. I couldn’t put 2 and 2 together and figure out what was going on. I was in a hotel room in Austin, TX with some buddies. We were getting ready to go out on the town and pick up some of that Saturday night beaver and I put on 3 shirts and got deodorant streaks on all of them. After yelling fuck for the 3rd time, my buddy showed me a little trick. To put on your shirt and never get deodorant stains on the outside you’ve got to fold the shirt up from the bottom. Fold it up halfway, like you’re going to show off your belly, and put it on that way. When you put it on you will still get deodorant on the shirt, but it will be on the inside of the shirt where it’s invisible, and not on the outside of the shirt where it makes you look like an idiot who can’t put on a t-shirt.
4) Go to the Gym You Lazy S.O.B.
There is no better time than right now.