How to Find Out What Your Destiny Is (and answer the question “What Do You Want?”)

Some are of the opinion that your destiny is out of your control. That your destiny has been pre-determined and you have no choice in the matter. Some believe that it does not matter if you take action or do nothing. Some believe that whatever will be will be and there is no point in planning.

Others believe that you are the creator of all that happens in your life. BOLD & DETERMINED is of the opinion that anything a smart and mentally stable person wishes to achieve can be achieved through the sheer power of determination.

Arnold Schwarzenegger wished to become the best bodybuilder who ever lived. His parents and his peers in his small Austrian town thought bodybuilding was a ticket to nowhere and that he was wasting his time. But young Arnold had an iron will and unbreakable determination and he went on to become the greatest bodybuilder of all time.

After he found bodybuilding success, Arnold Schwarzenegger wished to become a movie star, not an actor, a star. Agents laughed at his bulky muscles and his funny accent. Arnold was not deterred, he knew his path, his destiny, and he went on to become the most famous movie star the world has ever seen.

Young Arnold could have listened to his parents in his small Austrian town of Graz, he could have given up his bodybuilding dreams and followed in the footsteps of his Police Chief father. Becoming Chief of Police is certainly not a bad living, but Arnold certainly would have wondered “what if….” until his dying day.

When asked the question “What Do You Want?” Arnold answered “I want to become the greatest bodybuilder of all time, move to America, become a movie star and then become a world leader“.

Knowing what you want is the most important part of determining and fulfilling your destiny.

Having a plan is of utmost importance. Being able to answer the question “What do you want?” with complete certainty IS your plan. If you cannot answer the question or if you answer with vague uncertainties then that is what you are surely to become: nothing but a vague uncertainty.

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Q: What do you want?

A: Oh, I don’t know. A good job I guess. Maybe some travel. You know, just be happy.

That’s exactly what this person will get. A job that pays him money and steals what is left of his soul. A week of vacation per year and one day he may make it to Cancun, Mexico. That’s it.

———————————————-

Q: What do you want?

A: I want to set up a drop-shipping business selling blue widgets to overweight single moms. This business will be set up so that it can be run from anywhere in the globe. This will give me a chance to have positive cash flow while I do a little traveling. The blue widget business will not last forever so I will invest money from that venture into real estate, specifically farm land, which will give me an income for the rest of my life. I plan to raise a large family on a farm in xxxxx, away from the degenerate influence of television and public schools.

I would bet money that this person will be able to follow through with this plan, this destiny, because he knows exactly what he wants.

———————————————-

How to Answer the Question “What Do You Want?”

The first step to answering this questions is to BE HONEST. It is only for you that you are answering this question so you must let go of the fear of saying something wrong or improper.

For example: I will get married some day and raise a family. I will only marry a woman who meets specific guidelines, and one of those is that she must be a virgin. Every man I know is deathly afraid to admit that they would prefer a virgin, or to even think that it’s an option. The consequence is that these men will end up with used goods. Fine for them. That is the destiny they have chosen.

When answering the question “What do you want?” it is ok to be selfish. It is imperative to be selfish when answering the question.

You likely already know what you want. For some, the ones who can answer completely, the thoughts are at the forefront of their mind. For others, those who are scared to answer with sincerity and honesty, the thoughts are what keep them awake at night.

What keeps you awake at night?

  • Dread for your job?
  • Money worries?
  • Debt?
  • Wishing you had a lovely young lady to hold?
  • Excitement for the day ahead?
  • Wishing you had something to be excited about?
  • Depression?
What you are thinking about is likely what you have waiting for you in the future. Night time is the greatest indicator of whether or not you are following what should be your destiny. There are two options at night when you lay awake:
  1. You are visualizing your plan of attack, you are going over your plans, you are preparing, you are excited for the day ahead and you fall asleep content. Or…
  2. The demons come for you. All your mistakes and missteps come to eat you up because you are not on the path you should be on.

What To Do

Get a paper and pen and write down the most important things in your life. Read this repeatedly until you have narrowed down exactly what is most important. Then say it out loud. Don’t mumble and don’t stutter. Say it loud with confidence.

Never say “I don’t know“.

When someone says “What do you want for dinner?” you must answer with certainty.

When someone says “What do you want to do tonight?” you must answer with certainty.

This will get you used to answering questions with confidence and sincerity.

Go somewhere you can be alone. Go for a long drive. Go for a walk in the woods. Leave your phone and ipads and electronic junk behind. Just you and your thoughts. Answer the question “What do you want” and answer with complete honesty. There will be no one around to judge your thoughts, there will be no one around to laugh at you or say it can’t be one.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Do not look away. If you cannot look at yourself in the mirror without feeling disgust you cannot accomplish anything. You absolutely must be able to face yourself. When you become comfortable with yourself you will be comfortable exposing yourself and your plan to others.

Play To Your Strengths

Everyone has something they are good at. Play to the strengths you possess.

If you are low IQ you cannot move to Silicone Valley to develop web applications. If you are 5’6 and 28 years old you will not become a professional basketball player. If you live in the middle of nowhere, Kansas you are not going to become a famous actor.

Dreams Do Not Have To Be Grand

The dream for the entirety of my early adult life has been to be self-employed. This is not a grand dream, there are millions who make money on their own. All it takes to become self-employed is a method and a determination to make it work. Once I made the decision to go my own way and never look back it has been downhill.

It has been over 4 years since I have received a paycheck from an employer. If I had simply made the decision earlier and followed through with determination it could have been 10 years ago.

The Power Of Visualization

You must visualize yourself as you want to be. I did this long before I went into business on my own. I visualized exactly what I would be doing, how I would be acting, and wouldn’t you know it? Two or three years later I was doing exactly what I visualized myself doing.

When I want to lift a heavy weight for the first time I visualize it before I lift, sometimes for days. I see myself lifting it in my mind, by the time I get to the gym I have already lifted it a dozen times in my head. My brain already knows I can lift the weight, so I just pick it up and lift it.

The barriers we have are mostly psychological. If we can get past them in our mind they are extremely easy to fulfill in real life.

Choosing Your Destiny

Friends, it is your choice how you wish to live your life. The world is yours for the taking. Your destiny will be what you have built it to be. If you build upon it with a bunch of “I don’t know’s” or a bunch of letting things happen rather than taking action and making them happen then that is the destiny you have to look forward to.

If you have made the decision to plan out your life, rather than letting it happen, you can look forward to your plan coming to fruition.

Friends, I wish you all the best. I hope you will make a plan and follow through. The world has plenty of worker-bee slaves. Let those motherfuckers have it. Your destiny is yours to choose. The choices you make today will affect your tomorrow. Make the right one.

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Comments

  1. Great article!
    Can we expect a fitness article too? or even a book?

  2. pete smith says:

    Another good read!

    When i was younger and in my early 20s, i was vocal that, should i decide to get married, i wanted a virgin for a wife. I also wanted to sleep with virgins preferentially. However, my “ideal” wife criteria changed in later years. I realized that virgin wives often have desires to sample other men unbeknownst to their partners, that is, after they pop their cherry and make love with their husbands for awhile. This is understandable. If i never tried ice cream and then one day decided to try one flavor from Baskin Robbins, i would be curious what the other 30+ taste like.

    • Victor Pride says:

      Sure, that could be a concern for some.

    • RX-78 Alex says:

      This happens occasionally; but more often than not, women virgins form a powerful bond with their first, and take quite a long time to get over them once dumped.

      • pete smith says:

        I agree. But, if their relationship continues, i don’t think it is uncommon that they secretly desire other men, that is, if they have not already pursued them. Of course, many men and women in “monogamous” relationships are the same.

    • I disagree, in fact studies have found the exact opposite. Here’s an article on some of the studies I just googled at random.

      http://winteryknight.wordpress.com/2010/09/22/does-being-a-virgin-before-marriage-affect-marital-stabilitity/

      • pete smith says:

        As one person replied in relation to that study:

        “I am very, very interested in this sort of research. However, I think it is crucial to be careful here, and make sure people understand this is just a correlation. Going beyond that is simply not supported by the evidence.

        For example, does sleeping with a lot of people cause mental instability, or does mental instability cause one to sleep with lots of people? And how does age, education about sex, and socioeconomic status play into it?

        Do the studies control for why people slept with more than one person (was it cause they were in love with more than one person? Were they raped? Etc). And does it control for why they got divorced? Does it control for if the couples have children?

        I agree there is a clearly a correlation, but it seems that pronouncements of anything beyond that simply is not warranted… there simply are too many other variables.”

        I am currently living in a country in Asia where cohabitation before marriage is socially disapproved. It is not uncommon for many women here to enter into their marriages as virgins. Yet, sex outside marriages is rife here.

        It might be a case of agree to disagree.

  3. Epic article.

    Your blog just keeps getting better and better. Keep up the good work.

  4. Great article. I’m glad this topic won in the poll after reading it. I was wondering, do you think you’ll ever make an article where you express some opinions of you? Stuff like your political views, religious views or anything else.

  5. I have already taken steps to achieve my dreams. I want to be self employed, at very minimum having one online business that I can work at from anywhere in the world and open up my very own gym. I’m making a list for when I want which goals to be achieved. It’s made me take many risks, but it makes me move forward.

  6. Italian G says:

    Great Post. Its so true. Have conviction in life! Also, be very careful who you surround yourself with. I’m telling you, I am a very strong person. I have a fire in my heart that never seems to go away. I don’t suffer from depression. I am a natural Alpha Male. I was never a beta male, that is trying to become an Alpha Male. I have had sympathy for the “weaker” males in my life because I made the mistake of thinking I could help them.

    I sympathize for these guys because I see how many of them are depressed with life & how they have almost given up. I figure I can spare some of strength God gave me. I have learned the hard way that is not the route to go.

    I had a great friend from college commit suicide, two years after we graduated. I always felt kind of guilty or I could have done more to help him or something. I know now, that it wasn’t my responsibility.

    BE WARNED. Its good to have kindness in your heart & compassion. Its good to care about humanity, but surrounding yourself with them (negative, lazy people) & their “doubting minds”, constant complaining, dick-less behavior, super sensitivity, always whining, blaming a girlfriend or wife for their problems even though it was f@cking years ago. They are scared to even make a confrontational phone call. They let people fuck them out of money. They don’t stand up for themselves. Stay away from these people!

    TURN YOUR BACKS ON THEM NOW! Give them no quarter. I have made this mistake for the last couple years of my life. I’m cutting all these beta male pussies out of my life forever. I almost have the job complete.

    They are the guy who is a constant mooch, always broke, stays poor for years because they are content with just getting buy. Collects food stamps, has the piece of shit car or god forbid drives a moped, plays video games all the time as an adult man. Buys something once & makes the biggest f@cking deal in the world out of it (even though they have no problem using your money)… They vent like women about all their guy friends. They will talk shit about all their guy friends in their life to you. Guess what? All those guys they talk shit about to you… they are talking about shit about you to them! TURN YOUR BACK ON THAT “MAN” NOW!

    They have these “plans” or “dreams” of getting rich, but they have truly never put in the years of dedication or willing to go above the “9 to 5″ or the extra mile to get it. Stay away fro these types that are content with mediocrity. You should surround yourself with lions. Men that want to become more than they are. Work with people that desire to be the best in their field or accomplish large goals.

    Choose your destiny, BUT ALSO CHOOSE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BECAUSE THEY CAN EMPOWER YOU OR TAKE SO MUCH FROM YOU…

    • Victor Pride says:

      Italian G,

      You’re back. Haven’t heard from you in a while. This is a good comment, everyone should read it.

      • Italian G says:

        Thanks man. Your an inspiration to all of us Vic. Heck your blog helped get my ass get back in the gym.

  7. nice article, i don’t know what i’m looking for. it seems quite helpful in finding out. i’m gonna give it a try

  8. nice written man

  9. Rose Frost Star says:

    I love this! Although I feel a power. A power inside me that I want to see but can’t. I think following this will help. I have a buddy, a very good buddy friend, who I love. All I want besides to be (what I want for a job ( it’s private)) and live in Vermont, is to be by her side.

  10. Rose Frost Star says:

    But not marriage. I don’t want that. I’m happy for life. I’m not afraid of death. I’m getting off topic ( again ). Thanks for helping!

    :3

  11. Karampal kaur says:

    I luv each word of this article. But I m totaly confused.mentaly tired. I’m 18. Critical decision of career choice. I have got entangled in my andmy parnts dream. I’m unable to listen my heart. What to do. Where to go. Totally lost. I think only u r the one in this whole world who can stop my tears, help me please…….

    • Im not victor but i think i can help, im only 16 but just listen…. first follow victors advice and find out what you want, if you dont know look up ramit sethi passion and les brown motivation, read michael elsburg education of millionaires if all else fails apply to dale stephens uncollege

  12. IronDave says:

    This is something I’m currently struggling with. I’m 22, still live with my parents, working part time in a bakery. I’ve got a job and recently bought an old Volvo 940 that I paid in full with cash and fixed up into quite a nice car. I still can’t help but feel like loser for not having this figured out by now.

    I’ve tried “soul searching”; I know I want to do something that involves making something and I want to work with people. I’ve tried getting in to several things, drafting, engineering, auto mechanic, etc and for a while I love it, almost to the point of being obsessed with it. After a while something odd happens, I get bored with it. I’ll keep with it, thinking it has to do with those ups and downs that comes with life, but if I do it long enough I’llhate it

  13. IronDave says:

    and if I try to power through the “down” to the next “up” I’ll get to the point where I am repulsed by the idea of even thinking about using it as a career.

    I’ve got an IQ north of 140 and I’m quite good with my hands. I’ve been lifting weights since I left highschool and I was 5’10 and 125lbs, and now I’m 175lbs and quite muscular if still on the lean side, so its not like I lack determination in getting what I want. I’ve even had a few random people tell me I’m handsome (In particular I had an older black lady look me up and down and told me in a loud voice that I am one damn fine specimen, to this day they call me specimen at work). What I’m trying to get at here is I don’t really have a whole lot of limitations, I just don’t know what I can do that I won’t shortly end up hating.

    I know I need to figure this out, and the sooner the better. I feel like a loser for not having done it by now, and my friends I grew up with are graduating college soon (of which I dropped out freshman year) and I’m afraid it may make this worse than it is.

    Anyone go through something similar?

    • I am. Going through the same stuff that I went through when I was 16. Im 22 now and I also wonder why I haven’t figured out my path yet. Not sure what to, nothing feels right, struggle to commit to any career or person because ‘that will be it’. At least, that’s what it feels like. I want to go OUT to the world and be a part of it, not go IN and get tied to some lousy routine that will shrink my world. All my friends have settled down with a normal job and life and God knows I’ve tried to do the same, just can’t. I constantly have this feeling that I should be somewhere or be doing something, have no idea what.

      • Hi Anne,

        Hopefully you get this via e-mail notification or something. I’m 28 years old and I’ve only just figured out what I want from life (thanks mainly to this blog). I bounced from career to career for years, and now I’ve finally got into something that I feel good about and I know where I’m going and what kind of life I want. I know when something is working for me and when something is not.

        You don’t have to realise your purpose now, I simply wasn’t ready before and wasn’t able to read into the signs and really understand what makes me tick. The point is, sometimes it’s good to find out what doesn’t work for you as well. It took me a lot of trial and error and no doubt there will be some more, but at 28 years old I finally have some long-term goals to strive towards and it feels great.

        Don’t be downhearted, just do what you want to do, push yourself out of your comfort zone often and observe what gives you a buzz. Then set up a plan to get more of it while making money and living prosperously :) best of luck on your journey.

  14. good article Vic, I’m starting my own business soon, cleaning out foreclosed houses, whats your opinion on property preservation?

  15. Thank You For this Article! I Have Been In A Rut The Past 2 Years Deciding What I Wanted. I Have KnowN Since I Was 7 Years old I Wanted To Be A Singer/Songwriter. I Kept Putting It Off And Working Shitty 9-5 Jobs To Feed My 2 Kids But My Spirit Feels Broken Down Now. I Can’t Provide For Them Or Myself If Im Too Depressed To Function So Im Taking This Article As Sign From The Creator That My Calling Has To Be Answered Now! Keep Up The Good work! Peace And love

  16. Jesse Loftin says:

    Today, society is a disease and your words are the cure for the illness

  17. I love this fucking post.

  18. i must say, each and every word of this blog is so interesting. I already read it for couple of times and i have saved the page too, so that i can read it over n over again…:)

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