How to Shake Hands Like a Man

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This is a handshake.

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This is a bunch of bullshit.

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Bros be thinkin’ it’s cool to imitate the brothas. Dudes be thinkin’ they hip and progressive. Guys be thinkin’ they down and dirty with the cause.

Men don’t do this nonsense.

The importance of a good, strong, firm handshake cannot be overstated. When you shake hands with a man (or bump it or whatever this other faggotized baloney going around is called) you know right away what kind of man you’re dealing with. If you are dealing with a serious man not to be “trifled” with you will receive a solid, firm and strong handshake and eye-contact. If you be dealin’ with a “bitch nigga” you’ll get a limp wristed finger shake, some faggoty fist bump, something like in the picture above, or worst of all he will offer you his left hand.

I have been offered the left hand twice in my life. The first time it happened the man had grease all over his right hand and I didn’t see it, so he offered the left hand with an explanation. Fine. The second time it happened a joke of a man offered his limp left hand with no explanation. I knew right away I be dealin’ with a “bitch nigga”.

As a man of integrity you must always offer the handshake and never offer any kid of fist-bump baloney.

 This is how you offer a handshake.

  • Always try to be the first to offer a handshake and an introduction.
  • Always make eye-contact when you do so.
  • Always offer a good, firm grip. Never give a limp greeting to a man.
  • Always offer the handshake at the beginning of a meeting and at the end.
  • Always offer a handshake to male family member, business partners, male friends, and people you meet for the first time.
  • Never remain seated for a handshake.
  • Reduce firmness and grip as needed for the elderly and for women.
  • Generally the handshake should not exceed 3 or 4 seconds (there are exceptions).
What happens when they try to do this?

JUST SAY NO.

PS – While we are on the subject don’t be a bro, a dude or a guy.

That swinging dick makes you a man. That’s how you refer to yourself and that’s how you conduct yourself. You ain’t no bitch nigga is you?

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Comments

  1. pete smith says:

    When meeting people for the first time as well as certain other people, I always offer a firm handshake. However, when meeting friends who i see often, i’ll offer the fist pump, simply because we’re friends and more importantly I don’t know where there hands have been or how many times they have touched shit without washing their hands. I know a few well-known business men who despise shaking hands for this latter reason and hence advocate the Japanese greeting of bowing. In fact, I wish hand-shaking was not practiced at all, too. A simple head tilt would suffice. I know a lot of guys who give tough hand shakes, but couldn’t bust a fruit in a fruit fight. I think looking in one’s eyes when meeting and talking is a better measure of a man’s integrity.

    • Victor Pride says:

      Pete,

      I’ll leave the bowing to the Japanese. Bowing is a form of submission and I won’t take part in it. When Asians bow to me I do not bow back, I just give a slight head nod. A white westerner will never truly understand the intricacies of the Japanese bowing, nor do I care to learn. A handshake is the greeting of a westerner and I don’t taint it with fist bumps and all that baloney. As much as I hate germs I will always shake hands. Afterall, the amount of times I have died from shaking hands is still zero.

  2. FUCK YES!

    In western culture, a firm, focused handshake with focused eye contact is the gold standard. If you’re germaphobic, you have 2 options:

    1) Become Donald Trump, so your reputation proceeds you. Then you’ve earned the right to be eccentric.

    2) Get over it and be a fucking MAN. Wash you hands more often and find a better class of friends.

    Thanks for this post, VP. I LOVED it.

  3. Good post Vic. For the newbies, also watch for the subtle power plays guys try to play on you during the shake. Shake should be 50/50 down the middle straight. No hand should be on top or bottom. If you become powerful enough to get your handshakes photographed (CEO, President, etc…) make sure you stand on the left side of photo.

  4. I don’t fist pound my close friends, i hug them.

  5. pete smith says:

    Remember that scene in Jerry Maguire when Cushman’s father gives Jerry and strong, firm handshake as a sign of his loyalty to Jerry. Well, that didn’t mean shit. I know, that is simply a movie, but I can recount seeing several real-life episodes just like this.

    I guess I will just have to agree to disagree, fellas.

    I just think there are far better measures of a man when meeting and greeting another male, including eye contact, posture, voice tone and tempo, and so forth.

  6. This is excellent, timely advice that more of our men should take to heart.

    I consistently offer a solid, firm handshake with a straightforward look in the eyes.

    But I’ve noticed more and more men, many of them of the non-white variety, who offer a “fist bump” instead.

    My reaction is: “What the fuck is that?!” They laugh nervously in response.

    My own personal theory is that the “fist bump” is sort of a shit-test that non-whites and White liberals use against White men to determine our “coolness”, “hipness”, political/racial leanings, etc..

    It’s bullshit.

    • Victor Pride says:

      “My own personal theory is that the “fist bump” is sort of a shit-test that non-whites and White liberals use against White men to determine our “coolness”, “hipness”, political/racial leanings, etc..”

      Hear hear!

    • Leon Maderas says:

      Interesting idea, the shit-test theory.

      I’ve been offered bumps and other nonsense and it has always confused the fuck out of me. You’re right, it feels like the other person is patronizing you.

      You offer a handshake and the other person responds with an awkward motion, he obliterates the intention of your initial, good willing gesture. You are suddenly expected to learn a new way, and as you go along with it, you feel fucking stupid because you’ve been tricked into joining the cult of the secret salute.

      I’ll be more relentless on declining this bullshit from now on.

      • Victor Pride says:

        3rd paragraph right on the money.

        handshake or bust.

      • Agreed, 3rd paragraph is dead on.
        Last paragraph I will now be employing.

        Some may associate weakness with grandmothers, but mine taught me a long time ago the importance of a firm handshake, whilst looking them dead in the eye. I didn’t really get it then, but I do now… since a full handshake nowadays is becoming a thing of the past. These limp-wristed, partial shakes are just a joke to me. I laughed my ass off when I read the link/comment #9 on this article from 32 things every man should do.

        Thank you, Vic, I haven’t laughed this hard in about 6 months… refreshing.

  7. Italian G says:

    Love it. I’m a pretty dominating guy. However, I’m not a bully. One thing I will do, if I sense another guy is trying to dominate me or act is if he has a higher social value is teach him a lesson in dominance. This is what I will do. Try it and watch your adversary start doing your dishes.

    After I have noticed my new opponents arrogance. I will start moving in closer and close talking him. Now, this is where it gets fun. I will keep having the conversation, but instead of looking into both eyes I will focus all my energy and laser beam him in one eye. I will keep this going for about 30 seconds then all of a sudden, BAM! I switch both eyes to his other eye. Oh god how they crumble. Its hilarious.

    Watch them start stepping backwards, hands in pockets, and start looking around. After the conversation they will have to remove the condom from their ass.

    • Italian G, it sounds like guys think you are coming on to them. This is probably the reason they get uncomfortable and try to back away.

      A good firm handshake is they way to go. I hate it when people try to crush your hand like they have something to prove.

      • Caeser Yahya says:

        Your name is not cool man, G stands for nothing, im sure you mean ganster. A gangster is nothing compared to a man, u should change your name.

  8. Victor, in Japan a bow is a Form of submission? No, man. You are so wrong. Well, you need to be very cultivated and know japanese culture and I guess you are not. Nothing wrong with that BUT it’s good you seem the type if guy that enjoys learning new things. Do your research.

  9. Caeser Yahya says:

    Respect to Victor Pride
    @Seekay bowing is submission to us men in the middle east and it is forbidden, not only in our culture but also in Islam. I disagree with your post entirely.
    @Victor Pride: As a Muslim and a 17 year old from a Kurdish and Arab family i respect your mentality on what a man is! in Islam the only correct way to greet another man is by a handshake i dont see this here in the USA, only from few proud white men who still have morals, dignity, and respect for themselves and other true men. But America has been infected by the disease of illusion, an illusion of where there is no such thing as a man, which is sad since many true men once existed here. To be called a man in the middle east, is something honorable. To be called a strong man in the middle east is a title. When i say Strong man i do not mean only physically but rather in your entire character, your mentality ect.
    Im not perfect, ever since i came back to America i have been infected by the disease unfortunately. But i see myself improving yet again through what you show on your forums! Strong shit Keep it up! It helps us reflect!

  10. Don’t worry so much about germs when shaking hands… Just like the body responds to excercise by getting stronger and fitter, the immune system needs a workout now and then too. If you are in shape and not a fat-lardo, your immune system can probably handle hand shakes without problems… just don’t go picking your nose aftewards…that’s for pussies who still live with their mamas…

  11. Really good stuff man. Good old traditional male values – HELL YEAH!
    Guys nowadays are turning into fucking pussies with no values to stand for.
    I guess you also value things like keeping promises and keeping secrets?

    • Tony Montana says:

      All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don’t break em for nobody.

      ju got that?

      • Hey dude, chill. I’m white and conservative, my family always has been. I still ain’t got no problem with Muslims and non-whites. You don’t measure someone by his skin color or creed, you measure a man by his integrity and masculinity.

  12. Offer a firm handshake, but FFS don’t crush my hand. It’s not big, it’s not clever and it doesn’t make you look masculine – it makes you look like you have something to compensate for (usually that said person is a jackass).

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  1. […] when addressing each other. We respect one another and speak and act accordingly. We also firmly shake hands when we meet, it’s how real men interact. Secondly: I’m not religious, but I knew […]

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