There is no point in arguing with people who already have their minds made up. It takes up your time and energy and doesn’t produce any tangible results. It ends up with you getting angry, trying to convince someone of something that truly doesn’t matter at all.
But I don’t want people to think I’m such and such!
Why? How does you taking time from your life to pander to other people make any difference. People who are prone to arguing and name-calling have a very hard time understanding anything. No matter what you say they are going to think whatever they want to think. No matter how much you argue and pander you can’t change someone who has their mind made up. Just let people think whatever they want and go on with your life.
We’re scared of words for no reason. We argue against words like it changes anything or makes any difference. It doesn’t make any difference. They’re just words. Sometimes they have a basis in reality, sometimes they don’t. You can argue for or against the words as long as you want but it changes nothing about you as a person.
Time is precious. Don’t waste it arguing. Especially with people who aren’t worth a second of your time.
You’re a racist!
Uh huh.
You’re a sexist pig!
Uh huh.
You’re a homophobe!
Uh huh.
You’re wrong!
Uh huh.
You’re an elitist!
Uh huh.
You’re selfish!
Uh huh.
You’re obsessed!
Uh huh.
You’re a smart-ass!
Uh huh.
You’re stupid!
Uh huh.
You’re insane!
Uh huh.
You think you’re better than everyone!
Uh huh.
You’re so demanding!
Uh huh.
You’re just mad because blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Huh? Did you say something…
So true!
too bad i didnt read this one yesterday, I argued all day long with my wife. Then i went and looked at apartments to live in. I havent done it yet, but i’m getting close!!!
What if the ability to frame an argument is not connected to decision making at all? Perhaps we reach decisions through an unconscious process and only construct an argument when trying to explain, defend, or convince others of our position. That would explain why most arguments between people are ultimately useless.
“Why do humans reason? Arguments for an argumentative theory”
http://www.dan.sperber.fr/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/MercierSperberWhydohumansreason.pdf
uh huh.
Interested to know in a more practical manner how this might play out if the person who I’m trying to keep from arguing with is someone I can’t easily get rid of (e.g. Wife). The example in the article seemed more like passive aggressive retort to jabs from the antagonizer.
That cuts against the grain of the blog so I must be reading that wrong. Would a turn and walk with no response (like I didn’t even hear it) be a solid plan?