The period after breaking up with a girlfriend can be a lonesome time full of doubt, fear, regret and pain. In this article we will learn how to get over a breakup the easiest, most painless way possible. This article will not review how to get over a divorce, but how to get over a breakup with a girlfriend with whom you do not share children.
For purposes of this post we will assume the girl in the relationship broke up with the guy. We can assume this for two reasons: 1) Most breakups are initiated by the female and 2) A male would not be reading about how to get over a breakup if her were not the heartbroken party.
10 steps to getting over a breakup:
1) Understand that you are still in love with her simply because you can’t have her. If she all of a sudden became extremely needy she would cease to be so attractive. Men are in love with women they cannot have and women are in love with men they cannot have. If they could have them, that person would cease to be as attractive.
2) There are plenty of fish in the sea. There are over 3 billion women in the world and the median age for women world-wide is 29 years old. That means there are millions of dateable women in the world. There are literally millions of women as good, or better, than her. There are prettier women, there are sexier women, there are smarter women, there are younger women – anything you can think of there are millions more. To be obsessed with one in a sea of millions is lunacy. All her “great” qualities were something you made up in your mind. The truth is that women will change to please you in any way you desire. Women are chameleons in love and your hobbies and interests will become her hobbies and interests. A better woman can always be found.
3) She is not your soul-mate, your true love, the one or anything else. She’s just a girl you dated for a while. Soul mates and true love is an invention of the movies and sold to the gullible masses. If she was your soul-mate or your true love you would still be with her and everything would be roses. If such a thing as soul-mates existed then you would have never broken up. If true-love existed then she would still be with you. It isn’t true love you have, it’s true infatuation because she played you really well. If the girl actually was perfect for you then you would not have broken up.
4) Realize that when another girl comes along you will forget all about the old one. The way you get over your dogs death is you mourn for a while and then you go to the puppy pound and pick up a new dog. Similarly, the way you truly get over a woman is to get another one.
5) Do not watch sappy movies or listen to sad music. The media you imbibe affects your mood, positively or negatively. Rather than consume media that makes you sad, you should consume media that uplifts you and motivates you for the future. Don’t feed that heartbreak fire with heartbreak songs, movies and books.
6) Realize that you dodged a bullet by breaking up. Since it could not last, could never last, it’s best that it’s overwith now instead of in the future when much more could be at stake i.e. children, alimony, divorce, child support etc. A little heartache is a whole lot better than being bled dry from an unhappy ex-wife.
7) Realize that you will just be sad and lonesome for a little while and accept it. You wouldn’t be human if you had no emotions. So maybe you’ll spend a week listening to sad music and drinking too much whiskey. Just don’t let it become habit. Get it out, get it overwith and move on.
8) You can learn from your mistakes and be a better companion for your future women.That doesn’t mean you should pay more attention or buy more gifts, you shouldn’t. You should act in a similar aloof manner in which “the one” acted which caused you so much heartache and pain. If you want your woman to be head over heels in love with you you simply cannot be too available to her. That doesn’t mean you must be rude or mean, but it does mean you cannot be too nice or too eager to please. Never spill your guts and always let her wonder about you. Conventional wisdom says otherwise but conventional wisdom leads to divorce from “unhappy” wives who didn’t have the mystery they craved. Your woman must look up to you in some way to maintain her feelings of love for you. When you maintain that aloofness she is drawn to your power, the power she craves for you to have but will never admit.
9) Never, ever take advice from women on how to get women. They will lie unknowingly and tell you to be nice and be yourself and buy gifts, knowing full well that they despise the losers who do such things. Similarly, do not take advice from internet “pick up artists” hellbent on sexual degeneracy. The best person to take advice from is a guy who continually has pretty girlfriends who dote on him.
10) Realize that a lot of modern women will never be happy with any man as long as they live. The reality is that modern woman has been spoonfed completely unrealistic romance movies her entire life and she believes in them as much as she believes in anything. She believes she deserves everything she sees on tv. She will always think that her perfect man, her soul-mate, her white knight in shining armor is out there somewhere. Absolutely nothing a man can do will please such women forever. These women will die alone and will never, ever understand where they went wrong until it’s too late. These are the women whom you cannot please no matter what. If you’re dating such a woman you should let her go immediately and find a better companion. Don’t fall for the “saving her” baloney. She isn’t a damsel in distress and she is beyond redemption. Such cases will only end with you with your head in your hands wondering “why?”.
Getting over a breakup is easy when you think about it in a logical way and don’t let blind emotion run you over. The old adages are very true: there are plenty of fish in the sea, you are better off etc.. There is light at the end of your tunnel, whereas if you stayed on board with this woman there would only be darkness waiting for you. The right choice has been made for you, whether you want to believe it or not. Dust yourself off and find yourself a better option. There are millions to choose from.
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If you want women to become obsessed with you read this article, but heed this warning: when a women is obsessed with you you will lose your desire for her. For you to be truly attracted and want her she must make you chase her a little. She cannot be too available at first because the chase is an important part of “falling in love”.
Bonus #11) You can use the breakup as fuel for a great workout. There is no time a man will hit the weights harder than after a breakup. Especially when she starts dating again. Instead of letting that baloney eat you up let if fuel your fire.


Great post man! Stoked to see it went up so quick as well. Cheers
my pleasure.
Good stuff! No matter how much a man has going for him (looks, personality, money), if he pursues a woman (any woman) too hard she will run from him. Aloof/Challenge is our secret weapon.
indeed.
Awesome article, I recently went through a big break up.
I was with my ex for over 6 years and she recently left me to be “more independent”, because I was the nice guy. I fell into this constant pleasing state, where I would drop everything to make sure she was happy, even sacrificing my own happiness for her. I became the bitch and she wanted to feel more independent and stable.
The breakup was hard, it’s been 6 weeks now, I was sad and felt sorry for myself for the first 3 weeks and then something clicked and I said “fuck it”, I got off my ass, hit the gym, spoke to mates (who I neglected for 6 years) and picked up my life (still a long way to go).
I have been out clubbing, hooked up with some girl (who wanted me) and as soon as that happened I forgot about my ex, it’s strange. But something that makes you move forward and realise that you are sad over the loss of company, rather than that individual and this true love, soul mate bullshit.
Still hitting the gym and concentrating on me. That’s the best thing :)
Thanks again for the article (and the rest of this awesome site). Will keep reading and share!
I just want to say that this article makes so much sense. I just recently broke up with a girl and I still feel like she took my heart, stepped on it and threw it in the bin like yesterdays old newspaper. Especially after I told her that I was still in love her all she said was that she wasn’t and was going for drinks with another guy who she met through a friend and may ask her out to start dating. The Cow!!!
But after reading this article, I know that she was just another girl I was with for nearly 9 years. All I can say that the guy who asks her out, good luck to him, because she is the most high maintaince girl on this planet. Also as far as I’m concerned he will be having my seconds especially since I broke into her for him, and that felt goooodddd.
Any way thanks for this site! and I will follow all the tips mentioned on this site.
each line rings truth here :) I think the thing is that we all want so many different things at different stages of our life, women want something men want something.. there are so many different kinds of women and so many different kinds of men..so many permutations and combinations that its not easy to analyse the logic of a breakup..
But some things are very true… drifting along will make us wimps, a well planned boldanddetermined lifestyle is much more likely to increase the flow of abundance in all forms.. be it women, money, fulfilment…